The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Content within the patient forum is user-generated and has not been reviewed by medical professionals. Other sections of the Melanoma Research Foundation website include information that has been reviewed by medical professionals as appropriate. All medical decisions should be made in consultation with your doctor or other qualified medical professional.

Hospice or Treatment

Forums General Melanoma Community Hospice or Treatment

  • Post
    DennysGirl
    Participant

      Soo, my hubby, (stage 4, mets in brain, spine, lungs, pelvis, ribs) was admitted to the hospital on Friday, Oct 23 for dehydration and malnutrition due to vomiting. After new act scan they found the tumor in his R lung had grown into his bronchi and was obstructing his breathing. He was then admitted into University of Wisconsin Health on Tuesday, Oct 27th. They did surgery cutting the cancer out of the bronchi and putting in a stent.  His breathing has gone from needing 6lpm to only 2lpm. We had an MRI and PET scan on Oct 14th at our local hospital.  The MRI had shown that the one brain met that he was diagnosed with in May had stayed the same….Fast forward to last week, here at UW, when they were filling him up with fluids..he started swelling up on the top half of his body. They did a new MRI on Oct 30th on his brain and chest and found a tumor in his chest is obstructing his Superior Vena Cava causing the swelling. As for the brain MRI they found that since his last one on the 14th he has had 7 more small tumors pop up and the original one that was a size of a pea on Oct 14 is now the sign of a ping pong ball. So they started radiation right away on his brain and on his chest. He had been doing really bad for the past few weeks and on Saturday the oncologist (melanoma specialist) here at UW told us that if things didn't improve by Tuesday that we should discuss hospice. Sunday there was improvement and today was huge improvement but the social worker came in and said the dr is still suggesting hospice. He is being discharged tomorrow. 

      My husband is only 47 and other then the cancer a very healthy man, he has no other health issues.  I am torn—I feel like if he enters hospice then we are just giving up. If we fight and continue with chemo and radiation he may be able to extend his life a couple years possibly. 

      Have any of you here ever had a dr suggest hospice… What was your decision….why? 

    Viewing 11 reply threads
    • Replies
        DennysGirl
        Participant

          Oh I forgot to mention that he has only had 1 dose of Opdivo… That was on Oct 16th. The Opdivo was not what caused the vomiting because that started on Oct 11.  I'm just feeling like it's too early to just give up.

          DennysGirl
          Participant

            Oh I forgot to mention that he has only had 1 dose of Opdivo… That was on Oct 16th. The Opdivo was not what caused the vomiting because that started on Oct 11.  I'm just feeling like it's too early to just give up.

            DennysGirl
            Participant

              Oh I forgot to mention that he has only had 1 dose of Opdivo… That was on Oct 16th. The Opdivo was not what caused the vomiting because that started on Oct 11.  I'm just feeling like it's too early to just give up.

                gregor913
                Participant
                  Prayers for you and your family. Keep on fighting the fight.
                  gregor913
                  Participant
                    Prayers for you and your family. Keep on fighting the fight.
                    gregor913
                    Participant
                      Prayers for you and your family. Keep on fighting the fight.
                      gregor913
                      Participant
                        Prayers for you and your family. Keep on fighting the fight.
                        gregor913
                        Participant
                          Prayers for you and your family. Keep on fighting the fight.
                          gregor913
                          Participant
                            Prayers for you and your family. Keep on fighting the fight.
                          jbronicki
                          Participant

                            Hi Renee,

                            I'm so sorry for what you are going through and what your husband is dealing with, but you are doing a great job of being a wonderful caregiver.  The doctor may be thinking of you as well when he is suggesting hospice as it provides services to help the caregiver with some of the burden.  I think you need to clarify with the doctor exactly what that means, as there is some gray area concerning hospice and curative treatment.  I've been researching to give you best possible answer, and here is a link to trusted site (about halfway down on this webpage, there is a table about the misconceptions of hospice and the reality).  My advice would be to talk directly to his specialist and make sure you understand if he is suggesting to not give your husband curative treatment before you make the choice (he may be able to get hospice services that provide him so relief as well as stay on a treatment plan):

                            There is also something called palliative care where they do curative treatment right along with pain management.  I looked up the link for palliative care and they do have it available at UW Madison.  This may be a better option as you want to keep fighting and we know that people can be close to the end with this disease and then see improvement .  I chose hospice for my dad, but he was 80 with a degenerative condition, Parkinson's.  Your husband is still a young man and treatments have occured that have turned this around with some patients.  The choice will be yours and your husbands and either way, you will have made the right choice, but hopefully these resources may give you some options. 

                            UW Hospital and Clinics Palliative Care Program

                            600 Highland Avenue

                            Madison, WI 53792

                            View Website

                            Phone: 608-890-9444

                            Fax: 608-263-5457

                            Population Served: Adult

                            Many hugs

                            Jackie

                            jbronicki
                            Participant

                              Hi Renee,

                              I'm so sorry for what you are going through and what your husband is dealing with, but you are doing a great job of being a wonderful caregiver.  The doctor may be thinking of you as well when he is suggesting hospice as it provides services to help the caregiver with some of the burden.  I think you need to clarify with the doctor exactly what that means, as there is some gray area concerning hospice and curative treatment.  I've been researching to give you best possible answer, and here is a link to trusted site (about halfway down on this webpage, there is a table about the misconceptions of hospice and the reality).  My advice would be to talk directly to his specialist and make sure you understand if he is suggesting to not give your husband curative treatment before you make the choice (he may be able to get hospice services that provide him so relief as well as stay on a treatment plan):

                              There is also something called palliative care where they do curative treatment right along with pain management.  I looked up the link for palliative care and they do have it available at UW Madison.  This may be a better option as you want to keep fighting and we know that people can be close to the end with this disease and then see improvement .  I chose hospice for my dad, but he was 80 with a degenerative condition, Parkinson's.  Your husband is still a young man and treatments have occured that have turned this around with some patients.  The choice will be yours and your husbands and either way, you will have made the right choice, but hopefully these resources may give you some options. 

                              UW Hospital and Clinics Palliative Care Program

                              600 Highland Avenue

                              Madison, WI 53792

                              View Website

                              Phone: 608-890-9444

                              Fax: 608-263-5457

                              Population Served: Adult

                              Many hugs

                              Jackie

                              jbronicki
                              Participant

                                Hi Renee,

                                I'm so sorry for what you are going through and what your husband is dealing with, but you are doing a great job of being a wonderful caregiver.  The doctor may be thinking of you as well when he is suggesting hospice as it provides services to help the caregiver with some of the burden.  I think you need to clarify with the doctor exactly what that means, as there is some gray area concerning hospice and curative treatment.  I've been researching to give you best possible answer, and here is a link to trusted site (about halfway down on this webpage, there is a table about the misconceptions of hospice and the reality).  My advice would be to talk directly to his specialist and make sure you understand if he is suggesting to not give your husband curative treatment before you make the choice (he may be able to get hospice services that provide him so relief as well as stay on a treatment plan):

                                There is also something called palliative care where they do curative treatment right along with pain management.  I looked up the link for palliative care and they do have it available at UW Madison.  This may be a better option as you want to keep fighting and we know that people can be close to the end with this disease and then see improvement .  I chose hospice for my dad, but he was 80 with a degenerative condition, Parkinson's.  Your husband is still a young man and treatments have occured that have turned this around with some patients.  The choice will be yours and your husbands and either way, you will have made the right choice, but hopefully these resources may give you some options. 

                                UW Hospital and Clinics Palliative Care Program

                                600 Highland Avenue

                                Madison, WI 53792

                                View Website

                                Phone: 608-890-9444

                                Fax: 608-263-5457

                                Population Served: Adult

                                Many hugs

                                Jackie

                                DennysGirl
                                Participant

                                  Thank you for your replys and advise! The melanoma specialist here at UW said if we want to continue chemo then we should not go with hospice. He said since Dennis has shown so much improvement, he thinks further treatment is a good plan! So they are going to call and schedule a appointment for us with his regular oncologist back home! He is also totally off of oxygen now!  He is still being discharged to home today. Praying for more improvement and success with further treatments! 

                                  DennysGirl
                                  Participant

                                    Thank you for your replys and advise! The melanoma specialist here at UW said if we want to continue chemo then we should not go with hospice. He said since Dennis has shown so much improvement, he thinks further treatment is a good plan! So they are going to call and schedule a appointment for us with his regular oncologist back home! He is also totally off of oxygen now!  He is still being discharged to home today. Praying for more improvement and success with further treatments! 

                                      BrianP
                                      Participant

                                        That's great news Renee.  So happy for both of you.  I'm still praying that Anti-Pd1 is going to starting kicking some melanoma butt.

                                        BrianP
                                        Participant

                                          That's great news Renee.  So happy for both of you.  I'm still praying that Anti-Pd1 is going to starting kicking some melanoma butt.

                                          BrianP
                                          Participant

                                            That's great news Renee.  So happy for both of you.  I'm still praying that Anti-Pd1 is going to starting kicking some melanoma butt.

                                            lmhl
                                            Participant

                                              I am so happy to hear you are seeing improvement. Don't give up Renee.  Stay strong.  Live with no regrets.  Best wishes and prayers to you and your family.

                                              lmhl
                                              Participant

                                                I am so happy to hear you are seeing improvement. Don't give up Renee.  Stay strong.  Live with no regrets.  Best wishes and prayers to you and your family.

                                                lmhl
                                                Participant

                                                  I am so happy to hear you are seeing improvement. Don't give up Renee.  Stay strong.  Live with no regrets.  Best wishes and prayers to you and your family.

                                                  tschmith
                                                  Participant

                                                    I'll keep him (and you!) in my prayers.  Keep fighting!

                                                    Best wishes….Terrie

                                                    tschmith
                                                    Participant

                                                      I'll keep him (and you!) in my prayers.  Keep fighting!

                                                      Best wishes….Terrie

                                                      tschmith
                                                      Participant

                                                        I'll keep him (and you!) in my prayers.  Keep fighting!

                                                        Best wishes….Terrie

                                                        Rita and Charles
                                                        Participant

                                                          So happy for you.  A quick note on pallitive care –  my husband does not have the same situation as yours – much less tumor burden. But due to previous car accident way before melanoma showed up, he is always in chronic pain. Since he started treatment 3 months ago – his pain level has sky rocketed, depressed and we have been franitic to find the right pain doctor and see how quality of life can be achieved. Tomorrow, we have someone coming from Pallative care to our home.  I spoke with them on Friday, it was a bad day – and for the first time, someone took charge and said we will make him feel better!  No red tape, no crazy doctor hopping – they are going to help get him back to a qualify of life. Frankly, they also bring a social worker to chat – I realize both he and I have been turned so upside down it has been wearing us down until we were nearly flat.  

                                                          He is not at end of life by far, but we need a support…………I pray  that this will work – happiness is important.  Please look into the pallitive care, it will take a burden off you as well – it really helped me. Take care of your self, good luck – I'll say prayers for your husband and you.

                                                          I'll let you know how the meeting goes tomorrow with them………wish us luck!

                                                          Rita

                                                          Rita and Charles
                                                          Participant

                                                            So happy for you.  A quick note on pallitive care –  my husband does not have the same situation as yours – much less tumor burden. But due to previous car accident way before melanoma showed up, he is always in chronic pain. Since he started treatment 3 months ago – his pain level has sky rocketed, depressed and we have been franitic to find the right pain doctor and see how quality of life can be achieved. Tomorrow, we have someone coming from Pallative care to our home.  I spoke with them on Friday, it was a bad day – and for the first time, someone took charge and said we will make him feel better!  No red tape, no crazy doctor hopping – they are going to help get him back to a qualify of life. Frankly, they also bring a social worker to chat – I realize both he and I have been turned so upside down it has been wearing us down until we were nearly flat.  

                                                            He is not at end of life by far, but we need a support…………I pray  that this will work – happiness is important.  Please look into the pallitive care, it will take a burden off you as well – it really helped me. Take care of your self, good luck – I'll say prayers for your husband and you.

                                                            I'll let you know how the meeting goes tomorrow with them………wish us luck!

                                                            Rita

                                                            Rita and Charles
                                                            Participant

                                                              So happy for you.  A quick note on pallitive care –  my husband does not have the same situation as yours – much less tumor burden. But due to previous car accident way before melanoma showed up, he is always in chronic pain. Since he started treatment 3 months ago – his pain level has sky rocketed, depressed and we have been franitic to find the right pain doctor and see how quality of life can be achieved. Tomorrow, we have someone coming from Pallative care to our home.  I spoke with them on Friday, it was a bad day – and for the first time, someone took charge and said we will make him feel better!  No red tape, no crazy doctor hopping – they are going to help get him back to a qualify of life. Frankly, they also bring a social worker to chat – I realize both he and I have been turned so upside down it has been wearing us down until we were nearly flat.  

                                                              He is not at end of life by far, but we need a support…………I pray  that this will work – happiness is important.  Please look into the pallitive care, it will take a burden off you as well – it really helped me. Take care of your self, good luck – I'll say prayers for your husband and you.

                                                              I'll let you know how the meeting goes tomorrow with them………wish us luck!

                                                              Rita

                                                              jbronicki
                                                              Participant

                                                                That is great news Renee, glad to hear that he is starting to improve!  

                                                                Rita, that is good to hear on your part as well, use all the support you can get ๐Ÿ™‚   

                                                                Hugs and Prayers for you both.

                                                                Jackie

                                                                jbronicki
                                                                Participant

                                                                  That is great news Renee, glad to hear that he is starting to improve!  

                                                                  Rita, that is good to hear on your part as well, use all the support you can get ๐Ÿ™‚   

                                                                  Hugs and Prayers for you both.

                                                                  Jackie

                                                                  jbronicki
                                                                  Participant

                                                                    That is great news Renee, glad to hear that he is starting to improve!  

                                                                    Rita, that is good to hear on your part as well, use all the support you can get ๐Ÿ™‚   

                                                                    Hugs and Prayers for you both.

                                                                    Jackie

                                                                    DZnDef
                                                                    Participant

                                                                      Rita, have you ever considered acupuncture for pain management?  I haven't tried it myself but I just saw a great documentary "Escape Fire" where they used it on injured war veterans with great success.  Just thought I'd throw it out there.  I hope whatever you choose works well!

                                                                      DZnDef
                                                                      Participant

                                                                        Rita, have you ever considered acupuncture for pain management?  I haven't tried it myself but I just saw a great documentary "Escape Fire" where they used it on injured war veterans with great success.  Just thought I'd throw it out there.  I hope whatever you choose works well!

                                                                        DZnDef
                                                                        Participant

                                                                          Rita, have you ever considered acupuncture for pain management?  I haven't tried it myself but I just saw a great documentary "Escape Fire" where they used it on injured war veterans with great success.  Just thought I'd throw it out there.  I hope whatever you choose works well!

                                                                        DennysGirl
                                                                        Participant

                                                                          Thank you for your replys and advise! The melanoma specialist here at UW said if we want to continue chemo then we should not go with hospice. He said since Dennis has shown so much improvement, he thinks further treatment is a good plan! So they are going to call and schedule a appointment for us with his regular oncologist back home! He is also totally off of oxygen now!  He is still being discharged to home today. Praying for more improvement and success with further treatments! 

                                                                          Rita and Charles
                                                                          Participant

                                                                            How is your husband doing?? I hope well, Rita

                                                                            Rita and Charles
                                                                            Participant

                                                                              How is your husband doing?? I hope well, Rita

                                                                              Rita and Charles
                                                                              Participant

                                                                                How is your husband doing?? I hope well, Rita

                                                                            Viewing 11 reply threads
                                                                            • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
                                                                            About the MRF Patient Forum

                                                                            The MRF Patient Forum is the oldest and largest online community of people affected by melanoma. It is designed to provide peer support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. There is no better place to discuss different parts of your journey with this cancer and find the friends and support resources to make that journey more bearable.

                                                                            The information on the forum is open and accessible to everyone. To add a new topic or to post a reply, you must be a registered user. Please note that you will be able to post both topics and replies anonymously even though you are logged in. All posts must abide byย MRF posting policies.

                                                                            Popular Topics