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Very hard day!
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Very hard day!

› Forums › Cutaneous Melanoma Community › Very hard day!

  • Post
    • March 4, 2017 at 9:45 pm
    Zay95
    Participant
      First of all, sorry for my bad English.
      I’m 21 years old middle eastern female and a mother for a new baby for the first time.
      Two suspicious lesions was removed today. One of them resembles SSM and the other one looks like nodular melanoma, both lesions are dark black and nasty looking. I noticed them during my pregnancy.
      I’m in a deep mood depression and loneliness which I haven’t told any one from my family about this except my husband. I just don’t want to but my family in stress and worry. My husband is very supportive but he is expecting that my results will be totally benign, but for sure it’s not! I feel like I got my PhD in skin cancer due to the hours I’ve spent in the last few months googling about melanoma and I’m really sure I have it. Instead of enjoying with my new baby I’m thinking about my death all the time and what the future had hidden for me, will I even live until the age 30? Will I be able to see my little girl growing? Only God knows.
      I’m so sorry guys but I found this community very supportive and I really don’t know what to do by this stage:(
    Viewing 5 reply threads
    • Replies
        • March 4, 2017 at 10:09 pm
        jennunicorn
        Participant

          I realize that anything I say will probably not make you come out of the deep place you've gotten into… but I have a hard time ignoring people who really need help..

          I want you to remember that you DO NOT know if you have melanoma. The way a mole looks is NOT a way to diagnose. There are atypical moles that look funny and dark and scary but are just atypical and not cancer and never will or would be cancer. It would be unusual to have 2 primaries that are 2 different types of melanoma. It is good you got biopsies of moles that worried you, but the worry should not take over your life.

          You have the power to control what you Google… and searching for things that only make you depressed and anxious is self destructive. I realize you've had to wait a week just to get these biopsies and now you have to wait for results. That can be difficult for anyone. But, now, you have the decision to either let this destroy your mental state while you wait, or you can decide to keep busy and enjoy time with your baby. It is up to you. If you ever feel that you truely cannot control your thoughts and your depression, then I would advise you seek professional psychological help. Your hormones are still a bit crazy after having a baby, and it can cause many ups and downs in your emotions. It's very normal, and sometimes new moms need to seek some help with that to get their emotions back to more of a healthy balance.

          You've made up your mind, and my words will not undo what you've already done, but I hope a tiny slice of what I've said makes it through and you can really try to get back to being happy with your family… there is no reason to be miserable when you have so much love and good things around you.

          Take care,

          • March 4, 2017 at 11:26 pm
          Bubbles
          Participant

            You do not yet KNOW if you have melanoma!!!  You might.  You might not.  I have had melanoma. Diagnosed in 2003…  THAT'S NOT THE IMPORTANT PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The important part is this – I'm still here!!!  Alive and well and watching my children who were 10 and 12 at the time of my diagnosis live their lives as amazing, beautiful adults.  No matter what kills us…or when…life is short.  Do NOT waste another minute.  LEARN THAT….from this.  No matter what you DO or DO NOT have…LIVE!  Melanoma might take my life….but not today.  celeste

            • March 4, 2017 at 11:44 pm
            Bubbles
            Participant

              One other thought.  Today is March 4, 2017.  Or as I prefer to call it…MARCH FORTH!!!  The most opimistic, auspicious day of the year.  I really believe we can all MARCH FORTH….no matter what.  Here's proof:

              http://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2017/03/happy-new-year-its-march-forth.html

              I wish you my very best.  Celeste

              • March 5, 2017 at 6:31 am
              stars
              Participant

                Hi there – you don't have melanoma until you are diagnosed with it – until then you are the worried well. Wait for pathology, as horrible as the wait is, and I think you will find that you are in the clear. However, having a new baby is super hard – do you have enough support in and outside of the home? It sounds like you might be getting really worried about things – is that a sign of stress adjusting to your new life as a mum? Please talk to your GP or doctor as your thinking is getting in the way of enjoying life. The good news is, it's fairly easy to learn ways to counter this kind of thinking. It's just a skill you have to learn and practice – not 'catastrophising'. Please let us know how you get on – the transition to motherhood is really hard and sometimes you have to reach out for help.

                  • March 5, 2017 at 7:12 am
                  Zay95
                  Participant
                    Thankyou all for your response. I really do appreciate your supportive words<3. My heart with all of you since I was reading about what ppl dealing with here in the last few months and I wish you a long happy life.
                    In my country the awareness of melanoma is close to ZERO!. that's why it's kinda strange feeling and I feel like struggling with my current situation. It took me 5 visits to doctors to get them removed!. I hated how they respond to me as I'm just overactive:). However, I decided to remove the 2 lesions anyway what the doctors says. It will be a real shock if I really got diagnosed since I haven't heard about anyone here got a melanoma removed or treated, it's extremely rare.
                    I really feel lost.
                  • March 7, 2017 at 3:19 pm
                  JustJaren
                  Participant

                    Hi!

                    I hope you are feeling better today!

                    I wanted to tell you that after my SLNB came back positive my oncologist had me immediately go in for a full body scan. There was a spot on me that had been there as long as I can remember. It was BIG, it was multiple colors. I had always thought it was a birthmark and a previous dermatologist had told me "it's nothing", but now that I had been diagnosed with melanoma everyone was on high alert. My oncologist was now worried about this very large, multi-colored, uneven bordered mole. My dermatologist voiced intense concern over this spot. I was PETRIFIED for 5 days. If this large spot came back as mel it would be BAD! But guess what? It was completely benign. NOTHING. Not even atypical cells. 

                    My point is, you can't worry and fret over perceived danger. It causes you undue anxiety and is certainly not good for your new baby. 🙂 Have faith that everything will be fine, enjoy your baby and IF it comes back as mel, dela with it then. 

                    YOU WILL BE OK young lady!

                    Best wishes~!

                      • March 7, 2017 at 5:52 pm
                      Zay95
                      Participant
                        I hope you are doing well now <3
                        Woow you gave me some hope <3
                        But I'm conveniced i have melanoma, no results yet so still struggling.
                        So,there is a chance that they are benign even with dark black colour??
                        • March 8, 2017 at 12:14 am
                        jennunicorn
                        Participant

                          YES.. I have had black moles biopsied that were benign. Dark/Black does not automatically mean cancer.

                          • March 8, 2017 at 9:01 am
                          Zay95
                          Participant
                            Thankyou for replying.
                            I’ll update whatever the results are 🙂 #Waitingsucks
                          • March 12, 2017 at 3:46 pm
                          Zay95
                          Participant
                            Turned out as benign compound nevus
                            Thankyou all❤❤❤❤
                              • March 12, 2017 at 5:18 pm
                              jennunicorn
                              Participant

                                So happy to hear!

                                • March 12, 2017 at 5:33 pm
                                Zay95
                                Participant
                                  I just want to say thankyou, I will never forget your supportive words jenn and all of you here. I’ll keep you in my prayers❤
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