Saying hello and Goodbye…thanks Janner
REGISTER
The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Content within the patient forum is user-generated and has not been reviewed by medical professionals. Other sections of the Melanoma Research Foundation website include information that has been reviewed by medical professionals as appropriate. All medical decisions should be made in consultation with your doctor or other qualified medical professional.

Saying hello and Goodbye…thanks Janner

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Saying hello and Goodbye…thanks Janner

  • Post
    • October 12, 2011 at 2:13 am
    Happe10
    Participant

      So, you all don't know me, but I feel as if I know all of you. I have been following the board daily for a year and 5 months, since just before my diagnosis. I have never posted as I did not feel as though I have the right to. My melanoma was in situ, it was removed and I thought I was done with it. Mentally, it is not over and I am still very afraid. I have hundreds of moles and needed to know that someone else could help me survive this. I decided to do follow up at MDA. I live North of Houston.

      So, you all don't know me, but I feel as if I know all of you. I have been following the board daily for a year and 5 months, since just before my diagnosis. I have never posted as I did not feel as though I have the right to. My melanoma was in situ, it was removed and I thought I was done with it. Mentally, it is not over and I am still very afraid. I have hundreds of moles and needed to know that someone else could help me survive this. I decided to do follow up at MDA. I live North of Houston. I have gone to my follow ups, have some lovely new scars and some fabulous full body shots to keep a lose eye out. So far, so good. All have come back fine. I am in good hands but am still trying to get my head on straight. 

      Most people would have thanked God and moved on. Somehow, I have been stuck here. I have moved on with my life but part of me has been here with all of you. I think it is part of my heart, maybe a piece of my soul or maybe my innocence. I am not sure. I know that I am not the same person I was before melanoma. Something happened to me after my diagnosis. I changed. I have felt so many emotions over the last year following your lives. I feel guilty that I was so lucky. I want to understand why I am here and you are there. Why not me? I have been searching for the answer for so long. I have been watching from a far, celebrating your joys and crying at your loses. I have followed research and studied clinical trials. I have PRAYED! 

      I will continue to pray for you and your families. I will pray for strength and peace as you battle this horrible disease. I know in my heart that a cure is just around the corner. So now I am going to say thank you to Janner. I am leaving the board now after reading your last post. Why am I still here? I wanted to make sure you are all ok I guess. I have been waiting to witness a miracle. I have read a few and they give me such hope. I have wanted to find that answer, why NOT me. I am starting to realize that I won't find that answer here. 

      What I did find is a group of the most courageous people on the planet. Thank you for sharing your lives with me. I am so grateful for your knowledge, honesty and love for each each other. Your courage is unending and your compassion is inspiring. I am a better person for having found this board. 

      With gratitude,

      Amanda

    Viewing 2 reply threads
    • Replies
        • October 12, 2011 at 3:39 am
        mombase
        Participant

          Dear Amanda,

          Thank you for sharing your wonderful post. I can't imagine anyone not having conflicting emotions as a result of contracting this disease. I hope you will come back whenever you just feel like it!!

          Sincerely,

          Cristy

          • October 12, 2011 at 3:39 am
          mombase
          Participant

            Dear Amanda,

            Thank you for sharing your wonderful post. I can't imagine anyone not having conflicting emotions as a result of contracting this disease. I hope you will come back whenever you just feel like it!!

            Sincerely,

            Cristy

              • October 12, 2011 at 4:35 pm
              Janner
              Participant

                Don't leave on my account surprise!  You are right, though, this site can become addicting.  With an in situ diagnosis, it is a bit harder to keep your perspective when reading about advanced stage warriors fighting, though.  It seems a very healthy idea to move on, but know we will always be here if you have questions or concerns.  Please remember, you have as much right to post a question here as any advanced stage warrior.  We're here for ANY stage, not just advanced.

                Best wishes,

                Janner

                • October 12, 2011 at 4:35 pm
                Janner
                Participant

                  Don't leave on my account surprise!  You are right, though, this site can become addicting.  With an in situ diagnosis, it is a bit harder to keep your perspective when reading about advanced stage warriors fighting, though.  It seems a very healthy idea to move on, but know we will always be here if you have questions or concerns.  Please remember, you have as much right to post a question here as any advanced stage warrior.  We're here for ANY stage, not just advanced.

                  Best wishes,

                  Janner

                  • October 12, 2011 at 4:35 pm
                  Janner
                  Participant

                    Don't leave on my account surprise!  You are right, though, this site can become addicting.  With an in situ diagnosis, it is a bit harder to keep your perspective when reading about advanced stage warriors fighting, though.  It seems a very healthy idea to move on, but know we will always be here if you have questions or concerns.  Please remember, you have as much right to post a question here as any advanced stage warrior.  We're here for ANY stage, not just advanced.

                    Best wishes,

                    Janner

                  • October 12, 2011 at 3:39 am
                  mombase
                  Participant

                    Dear Amanda,

                    Thank you for sharing your wonderful post. I can't imagine anyone not having conflicting emotions as a result of contracting this disease. I hope you will come back whenever you just feel like it!!

                    Sincerely,

                    Cristy

                Viewing 2 reply threads

                Tagged: 

                • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
                About the MRF Patient Forum

                The MRF Patient Forum is the oldest and largest online community of people affected by melanoma. It is designed to provide peer support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. There is no better place to discuss different parts of your journey with this cancer and find the friends and support resources to make that journey more bearable.

                The information on the forum is open and accessible to everyone. To add a new topic or to post a reply, you must be a registered user. Please note that you will be able to post both topics and replies anonymously even though you are logged in. All posts must abide by MRF posting policies.