Caregiver looking for some info

 This is so very hard to watch your dear husband's health and comfort decline.  Please talk with your oncologist about palliative care which many HMO's now offer or Hospice if it is felt there is nothing more that can be done to stop the cancer growth.  You will both get professional compassionate support from the Hospice team.  He does not need to be in pain.  The Hospice doctors and nurses have a repertoire of medications and management so  a patient can be comfortable, alert, and when the time comes to let go, it will be with dignity and peace.  You will get guidance in taking care of yourself and help anticipating.  We are temporarily off Hospice because my husband is pursuing therapy and is currently stable but they were just great in the beginning post op when we thought this was it.  Best wishes in getting the help you both need. //al

 This is so very hard to watch your dear husband's health and comfort decline.  Please talk with your oncologist about palliative care which many HMO's now offer or Hospice if it is felt there is nothing more that can be done to stop the cancer growth.  You will both get professional compassionate support from the Hospice team.  He does not need to be in pain.  The Hospice doctors and nurses have a repertoire of medications and management so  a patient can be comfortable, alert, and when the time comes to let go, it will be with dignity and peace.  You will get guidance in taking care of yourself and help anticipating.  We are temporarily off Hospice because my husband is pursuing therapy and is currently stable but they were just great in the beginning post op when we thought this was it.  Best wishes in getting the help you both need. //al

 This is so very hard to watch your dear husband's health and comfort decline.  Please talk with your oncologist about palliative care which many HMO's now offer or Hospice if it is felt there is nothing more that can be done to stop the cancer growth.  You will both get professional compassionate support from the Hospice team.  He does not need to be in pain.  The Hospice doctors and nurses have a repertoire of medications and management so  a patient can be comfortable, alert, and when the time comes to let go, it will be with dignity and peace.  You will get guidance in taking care of yourself and help anticipating.  We are temporarily off Hospice because my husband is pursuing therapy and is currently stable but they were just great in the beginning post op when we thought this was it.  Best wishes in getting the help you both need. //al

I've been there from the patient side. I've been on the declining side of being more tired where I could not even walk the 10 steps to the bathroom because I had no energy. I've been there with tons of cancer in my bones and the pain hurts like well worse than anything I ever had before. I've been there with losing weight and not feeling like eating a bite and my stomach couldn't hold it anyway.

What got me better was to be determined to take that step and the next. Use the wall to support me if I had to. Whatever it took to fight it.

For the pain I would turn the heating pad up so all I could feel was the heat and the pain in that spot would be numb. When that didn't work I would switch to ice packs. Then back to heat. Whatever it took to fight.

For the losing weight mom would make me chicken or beef broth. Anything that I could keep down and get some strength.

Finally I started getting better with those issues. Yes I've faced and am facing many other issues too. The main thing I would say is be mentally strong and determined to keep fighting this. Find that one thing that you have to keep fighting for. Now my body has healed some so I can do daily things for myself and walk quite a ways pretty good. Also fortunately my parents moved in with me so I get lots of care and love. They called some places like a local cancer support center that were supposed to be care givers but did not like it so they are my only care givers so far. Sorry I don't know what other places for you to call.

I've been there from the patient side. I've been on the declining side of being more tired where I could not even walk the 10 steps to the bathroom because I had no energy. I've been there with tons of cancer in my bones and the pain hurts like well worse than anything I ever had before. I've been there with losing weight and not feeling like eating a bite and my stomach couldn't hold it anyway.

What got me better was to be determined to take that step and the next. Use the wall to support me if I had to. Whatever it took to fight it.

For the pain I would turn the heating pad up so all I could feel was the heat and the pain in that spot would be numb. When that didn't work I would switch to ice packs. Then back to heat. Whatever it took to fight.

For the losing weight mom would make me chicken or beef broth. Anything that I could keep down and get some strength.

Finally I started getting better with those issues. Yes I've faced and am facing many other issues too. The main thing I would say is be mentally strong and determined to keep fighting this. Find that one thing that you have to keep fighting for. Now my body has healed some so I can do daily things for myself and walk quite a ways pretty good. Also fortunately my parents moved in with me so I get lots of care and love. They called some places like a local cancer support center that were supposed to be care givers but did not like it so they are my only care givers so far. Sorry I don't know what other places for you to call.

I've been there from the patient side. I've been on the declining side of being more tired where I could not even walk the 10 steps to the bathroom because I had no energy. I've been there with tons of cancer in my bones and the pain hurts like well worse than anything I ever had before. I've been there with losing weight and not feeling like eating a bite and my stomach couldn't hold it anyway.

What got me better was to be determined to take that step and the next. Use the wall to support me if I had to. Whatever it took to fight it.

For the pain I would turn the heating pad up so all I could feel was the heat and the pain in that spot would be numb. When that didn't work I would switch to ice packs. Then back to heat. Whatever it took to fight.

For the losing weight mom would make me chicken or beef broth. Anything that I could keep down and get some strength.

Finally I started getting better with those issues. Yes I've faced and am facing many other issues too. The main thing I would say is be mentally strong and determined to keep fighting this. Find that one thing that you have to keep fighting for. Now my body has healed some so I can do daily things for myself and walk quite a ways pretty good. Also fortunately my parents moved in with me so I get lots of care and love. They called some places like a local cancer support center that were supposed to be care givers but did not like it so they are my only care givers so far. Sorry I don't know what other places for you to call.

When you get to the point of wondering if it's time to get some more support, the answer is "Yes, now is the time." Our local hospice accepted anyone with Stage IV cancer. True, the patient was not supposed to be actively treating the disease, but what this hospice did was discharge you from hospice on the day you got a radiation treatment (for example) or a Yervoy treatment (for example) and then re-admit you to hospice the next day. 

They treated my husband at home and were very , very helpful to both my husband and to me. Frankly, it was just such a relief for me to be able to talk to someone who really understood what we were going through and who could give excellent suggestions on how to make life easier. 

If you and your husband do not want to go the hospice route yet, I strongly suggest that you at least hire a housekeeper for a few hours 2 or 3 times a week. Someone to clean, do the laundry, the grocery shopping, changing the bed sheets, etc. Caring for your loved one and worrying constantly about his condition and his treatments is very stressful and tiring for you. Do anything that you can do to make your own life easier so that you can focus  your energy and attention on spending qualitly time with your husband or by yourself. 

When you get to the point of wondering if it's time to get some more support, the answer is "Yes, now is the time." Our local hospice accepted anyone with Stage IV cancer. True, the patient was not supposed to be actively treating the disease, but what this hospice did was discharge you from hospice on the day you got a radiation treatment (for example) or a Yervoy treatment (for example) and then re-admit you to hospice the next day. 

They treated my husband at home and were very , very helpful to both my husband and to me. Frankly, it was just such a relief for me to be able to talk to someone who really understood what we were going through and who could give excellent suggestions on how to make life easier. 

If you and your husband do not want to go the hospice route yet, I strongly suggest that you at least hire a housekeeper for a few hours 2 or 3 times a week. Someone to clean, do the laundry, the grocery shopping, changing the bed sheets, etc. Caring for your loved one and worrying constantly about his condition and his treatments is very stressful and tiring for you. Do anything that you can do to make your own life easier so that you can focus  your energy and attention on spending qualitly time with your husband or by yourself. 

When you get to the point of wondering if it's time to get some more support, the answer is "Yes, now is the time." Our local hospice accepted anyone with Stage IV cancer. True, the patient was not supposed to be actively treating the disease, but what this hospice did was discharge you from hospice on the day you got a radiation treatment (for example) or a Yervoy treatment (for example) and then re-admit you to hospice the next day. 

They treated my husband at home and were very , very helpful to both my husband and to me. Frankly, it was just such a relief for me to be able to talk to someone who really understood what we were going through and who could give excellent suggestions on how to make life easier. 

If you and your husband do not want to go the hospice route yet, I strongly suggest that you at least hire a housekeeper for a few hours 2 or 3 times a week. Someone to clean, do the laundry, the grocery shopping, changing the bed sheets, etc. Caring for your loved one and worrying constantly about his condition and his treatments is very stressful and tiring for you. Do anything that you can do to make your own life easier so that you can focus  your energy and attention on spending qualitly time with your husband or by yourself. 

Good luck with all you are going through. I know it's been hard for me as I am doing the best I can for my husband as well.  Everything has moved so fast it is a whirlwind.  Today the social worker called me about setting up hospice even though my husband is still receiving treatments.  I said most definitely.  I felt it would be good to have them in place and also they may be able to suggest things to make it easier for myself and husband.

Good luck with all you are going through. I know it's been hard for me as I am doing the best I can for my husband as well.  Everything has moved so fast it is a whirlwind.  Today the social worker called me about setting up hospice even though my husband is still receiving treatments.  I said most definitely.  I felt it would be good to have them in place and also they may be able to suggest things to make it easier for myself and husband.

Good luck with all you are going through. I know it's been hard for me as I am doing the best I can for my husband as well.  Everything has moved so fast it is a whirlwind.  Today the social worker called me about setting up hospice even though my husband is still receiving treatments.  I said most definitely.  I felt it would be good to have them in place and also they may be able to suggest things to make it easier for myself and husband.