My sister’s passing

My condolences on the loss of your sister.  I think your chance of getting melanoma are very low – you state you are on top of things as far as skin exams ups and nothing has turned up.  As far as getting, and dying, from advanced melanoma, your chances are extremely low.  If you keep getting annual check ups, any detected melanomas will likely be intercepted at an ealy and very curable stage.

No one can predict what will happen if you choose to raise her children.  You could die from an accident or from any one of a hundred diseases.  Most likely, you will raise them to be great adults – just like their mother.

Best wishes,

Harry

My condolences on the loss of your sister.  I think your chance of getting melanoma are very low – you state you are on top of things as far as skin exams ups and nothing has turned up.  As far as getting, and dying, from advanced melanoma, your chances are extremely low.  If you keep getting annual check ups, any detected melanomas will likely be intercepted at an ealy and very curable stage.

No one can predict what will happen if you choose to raise her children.  You could die from an accident or from any one of a hundred diseases.  Most likely, you will raise them to be great adults – just like their mother.

Best wishes,

Harry

My condolences on the loss of your sister.  I think your chance of getting melanoma are very low – you state you are on top of things as far as skin exams ups and nothing has turned up.  As far as getting, and dying, from advanced melanoma, your chances are extremely low.  If you keep getting annual check ups, any detected melanomas will likely be intercepted at an ealy and very curable stage.

No one can predict what will happen if you choose to raise her children.  You could die from an accident or from any one of a hundred diseases.  Most likely, you will raise them to be great adults – just like their mother.

Best wishes,

Harry

Just because your sister had melanoma with no predisposing factors really impacts you little.  Yes, your sun habits probably put you at higher RISK but risk is hardly certainty.  Most melanomas are not nodular either.  Most are slow growing.  So let's say you were to have a mole that changed into melanoma.  What's to say you won't catch it early?  I had a stage IB mole removed over 20 years ago and I'm still here posting.  I could easily have raised kids and then some in that time.  I've even had two other melanomas removed and I'm still stage IB and NED (no evidence of disease).  I think that you have a great advantage, not disadvantage.  You KNOW to be aware despite your past sun habits.  Many don't get it or think it could ever happen to them.  No one is guaranteed tomorrow.  You could die in a car accident.  Does that mean you shouldn't raise these kids?  Your risk is probably higher for something like that.  I think that maybe some type of counseling might be a good way to go.  You need perspective.  And if it makes you feel better, see the dermatologist every 6 months.  Watch your skin for changes.  Don't let an imagined melanoma run your life — if you do, melanoma wins another battle and you and the kids are the ones who lose.

I'm sorry for your loss,

Janner

Just because your sister had melanoma with no predisposing factors really impacts you little.  Yes, your sun habits probably put you at higher RISK but risk is hardly certainty.  Most melanomas are not nodular either.  Most are slow growing.  So let's say you were to have a mole that changed into melanoma.  What's to say you won't catch it early?  I had a stage IB mole removed over 20 years ago and I'm still here posting.  I could easily have raised kids and then some in that time.  I've even had two other melanomas removed and I'm still stage IB and NED (no evidence of disease).  I think that you have a great advantage, not disadvantage.  You KNOW to be aware despite your past sun habits.  Many don't get it or think it could ever happen to them.  No one is guaranteed tomorrow.  You could die in a car accident.  Does that mean you shouldn't raise these kids?  Your risk is probably higher for something like that.  I think that maybe some type of counseling might be a good way to go.  You need perspective.  And if it makes you feel better, see the dermatologist every 6 months.  Watch your skin for changes.  Don't let an imagined melanoma run your life — if you do, melanoma wins another battle and you and the kids are the ones who lose.

I'm sorry for your loss,

Janner

Just because your sister had melanoma with no predisposing factors really impacts you little.  Yes, your sun habits probably put you at higher RISK but risk is hardly certainty.  Most melanomas are not nodular either.  Most are slow growing.  So let's say you were to have a mole that changed into melanoma.  What's to say you won't catch it early?  I had a stage IB mole removed over 20 years ago and I'm still here posting.  I could easily have raised kids and then some in that time.  I've even had two other melanomas removed and I'm still stage IB and NED (no evidence of disease).  I think that you have a great advantage, not disadvantage.  You KNOW to be aware despite your past sun habits.  Many don't get it or think it could ever happen to them.  No one is guaranteed tomorrow.  You could die in a car accident.  Does that mean you shouldn't raise these kids?  Your risk is probably higher for something like that.  I think that maybe some type of counseling might be a good way to go.  You need perspective.  And if it makes you feel better, see the dermatologist every 6 months.  Watch your skin for changes.  Don't let an imagined melanoma run your life — if you do, melanoma wins another battle and you and the kids are the ones who lose.

I'm sorry for your loss,

Janner

No one else can tell you what's the best thing to do here.  But for my 2 cents worth, you don't currently have melanoma. You are keeping a close eye on your skin, and anyone the kids go to could develop cancer, die in a car wreck, or whatever. Nothing says you will get melanoma.  If you love those kids, and they love you, take them, love them, and just LIVE!!!!!   If cancer happens to come knocking on your door, how do you want the kids to remember you?  the Aunt that took them in, loved them, and played a wonderful part in their lives, or the aunt who was obsessed with checking moles?  And if you never develop melanoma, which is more likely, you will not have missed out on sharing your life with those kids out of fear.

No one else can tell you what's the best thing to do here.  But for my 2 cents worth, you don't currently have melanoma. You are keeping a close eye on your skin, and anyone the kids go to could develop cancer, die in a car wreck, or whatever. Nothing says you will get melanoma.  If you love those kids, and they love you, take them, love them, and just LIVE!!!!!   If cancer happens to come knocking on your door, how do you want the kids to remember you?  the Aunt that took them in, loved them, and played a wonderful part in their lives, or the aunt who was obsessed with checking moles?  And if you never develop melanoma, which is more likely, you will not have missed out on sharing your life with those kids out of fear.

No one else can tell you what's the best thing to do here.  But for my 2 cents worth, you don't currently have melanoma. You are keeping a close eye on your skin, and anyone the kids go to could develop cancer, die in a car wreck, or whatever. Nothing says you will get melanoma.  If you love those kids, and they love you, take them, love them, and just LIVE!!!!!   If cancer happens to come knocking on your door, how do you want the kids to remember you?  the Aunt that took them in, loved them, and played a wonderful part in their lives, or the aunt who was obsessed with checking moles?  And if you never develop melanoma, which is more likely, you will not have missed out on sharing your life with those kids out of fear.

Hello,

Your first line says alot  "My adopted sister passed not to long ago from Melanoma."  This means you were not really blood related so it is different than a sibling having it that is blood related.  Your chances are even slimmer of getting it even though you were more the sun person.  My husband worked 40 years mostly night turn and never hardly was in the sun especially at the prime time and he has melanoma and it even started under his hair on the back of his head.  Let me tell you he has a thick head of hair as well.

Enjoy the kids and keep up your check ups but don't dwell on it happening to you.  Why ruin your life letting it rule you?  Like others have said we all have no guarantee how long we will live or what we will die from.

Judy (loving wife of Gene Stage IV and now NED)

Hello,

Your first line says alot  "My adopted sister passed not to long ago from Melanoma."  This means you were not really blood related so it is different than a sibling having it that is blood related.  Your chances are even slimmer of getting it even though you were more the sun person.  My husband worked 40 years mostly night turn and never hardly was in the sun especially at the prime time and he has melanoma and it even started under his hair on the back of his head.  Let me tell you he has a thick head of hair as well.

Enjoy the kids and keep up your check ups but don't dwell on it happening to you.  Why ruin your life letting it rule you?  Like others have said we all have no guarantee how long we will live or what we will die from.

Judy (loving wife of Gene Stage IV and now NED)

Hello,

Your first line says alot  "My adopted sister passed not to long ago from Melanoma."  This means you were not really blood related so it is different than a sibling having it that is blood related.  Your chances are even slimmer of getting it even though you were more the sun person.  My husband worked 40 years mostly night turn and never hardly was in the sun especially at the prime time and he has melanoma and it even started under his hair on the back of his head.  Let me tell you he has a thick head of hair as well.

Enjoy the kids and keep up your check ups but don't dwell on it happening to you.  Why ruin your life letting it rule you?  Like others have said we all have no guarantee how long we will live or what we will die from.

Judy (loving wife of Gene Stage IV and now NED)

I'm so sorry you lost your sister.  It's understandable that you don't want her children to endure another loss.  The chance of that happening is slim, but it does exist.  Every one of us stands the chance of dying any given day, right?  Not sound morbid, but that's reality.   Try not to hyper-focus and obsess about this and focus instead on positive adjustments to your new life and on enjoying the kiddos. : )

Warmly,

Colleen

I'm so sorry you lost your sister.  It's understandable that you don't want her children to endure another loss.  The chance of that happening is slim, but it does exist.  Every one of us stands the chance of dying any given day, right?  Not sound morbid, but that's reality.   Try not to hyper-focus and obsess about this and focus instead on positive adjustments to your new life and on enjoying the kiddos. : )

Warmly,

Colleen

I'm so sorry you lost your sister.  It's understandable that you don't want her children to endure another loss.  The chance of that happening is slim, but it does exist.  Every one of us stands the chance of dying any given day, right?  Not sound morbid, but that's reality.   Try not to hyper-focus and obsess about this and focus instead on positive adjustments to your new life and on enjoying the kiddos. : )

Warmly,

Colleen