› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Nerves are shot, need someone to talk to :(
- This topic has 24 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 8 months ago by
bluebells.
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- January 4, 2017 at 2:27 pm
So I hope it is ok that I am posting as we have not received my biopsy results yet (my appointment for that discussion is 01/13). My story is a bit long and complicated so please bear with me.I have been struggling with illness of unknown origin for awhile now, illness that has been progressively getting worse. Many tests have been performed and the doctor’s were leaning towards an autoimmune disorder.
In 2014 a biopsy was done on my stomach and esophagus, which my pcp never received the results to but the gi dr said I had a lvl 2 systemic disorder. In 2015 my gallbladder was removed. Then 6 months ago my husband took me to ER and we discovered my right kidney was atrophied and I have CKD. I had to see a urologist who ran a ton of tests then sent me to a gu oncologist. In the meantime I am supposed to see a new gi specialist as I have been diagnosed with malabsorption diarrhea. I also have started having to see a breast specialist due to an issue with my right breast.
Getting to the point of why I’m reaching out to people here (thank you for your patience)…I was recently (11/2016) in the hospital for breast surgery. While I was being prepped for the OR the hospital staff noticed a rather large “suspicious mole” on my upper back. I had no idea it was there so no clue how long it’s been there. I had an anesthetia complication which caused a cardiac ischemia. As a result a chest CT was done and it was noted that my axillary lymph nodes are abnormal but my CBC ruled out infection. My breast dr looked at the mole at my surgery follow up and said there were actually two of them. Then my PCP, who saw me at the beginning of December, saw three. Now I know he probably shouldn’t have mentioned melanoma as a possibility, but he’s been my doctor forever and knows I hate secrets. He said I needed to go to the dermatologist to rule it out, especially with the issue of the lymph node abnormalities.
I went to the dermatologist and he did a full body check. Then he used a dermascope on the “several spots of concern” I now have on my back. He chose the two worst ones to biopsy. I’m going out of my mind waiting for the results!
He is a teaching doctor so even though he tried to put me at ease he was going over the risk factors that apply to me to his students:
Pale skin
Many moles
Freckles
Blue eyes
Red Hair
History of several bad sunburns, including at least 5 cases of actual sun poisoning
Tanning bed use when I was youngSorry for the long story, my family has just been going through so much…especially these last 6 months. I’m desperate for someone to talk to that can understand.
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- January 4, 2017 at 3:18 pm
I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much. I was a bit of a medical mystery myself, so I know how frustrating it is to be ill and no one can provide you with a solid diagnosis. The first thing, of course, is to try and get a hold on your anxiety. Stress can do a number on every system in your body, so you aren't helping yourself by playing the "what if" game. (I know, easier said than done.) Try some deep breathing exercises, or use a natural product like Bach's Rescue Remedy. Channel some of that anxious energy into a cause you can be passionate about — the Presidential election campaign is good, as no matter which side you are on there is something to be upset about. It's hard to be anxious about results when you are seething about something else. 🙂
Next, see if you can get your appointment moved up — tell them you would like a call from them and a copy of the pathology report faxed or emailed to you (or go pick it up) as soon as it comes in. Doctors are hesistant to let a patient have these without explaining them, but under HIPAA laws those results are *yours* and you have every legal right to obtain them. You can post the pathology report here and someone will help you deciper what you don't understand.
Finally, feel good that you are getting some answers. You can't address a medical problem until you identify it.
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- January 4, 2017 at 4:18 pm
Susan,Thank you so much for your reply. Logically I know stressing about it is a bad thing. However logic doesn’t always win right now. I’m scared, yet if the diagnosis does come back confirming suspicions of melanoma with lymph node involvement then I’d finally have my answers as to why I’ve been so sick! Does having these mixed feelings make sense or am I losing my mind?
Beth
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- January 4, 2017 at 4:18 pm
Susan,Thank you so much for your reply. Logically I know stressing about it is a bad thing. However logic doesn’t always win right now. I’m scared, yet if the diagnosis does come back confirming suspicions of melanoma with lymph node involvement then I’d finally have my answers as to why I’ve been so sick! Does having these mixed feelings make sense or am I losing my mind?
Beth
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- January 4, 2017 at 4:18 pm
Susan,Thank you so much for your reply. Logically I know stressing about it is a bad thing. However logic doesn’t always win right now. I’m scared, yet if the diagnosis does come back confirming suspicions of melanoma with lymph node involvement then I’d finally have my answers as to why I’ve been so sick! Does having these mixed feelings make sense or am I losing my mind?
Beth
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- January 4, 2017 at 3:18 pm
I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much. I was a bit of a medical mystery myself, so I know how frustrating it is to be ill and no one can provide you with a solid diagnosis. The first thing, of course, is to try and get a hold on your anxiety. Stress can do a number on every system in your body, so you aren't helping yourself by playing the "what if" game. (I know, easier said than done.) Try some deep breathing exercises, or use a natural product like Bach's Rescue Remedy. Channel some of that anxious energy into a cause you can be passionate about — the Presidential election campaign is good, as no matter which side you are on there is something to be upset about. It's hard to be anxious about results when you are seething about something else. 🙂
Next, see if you can get your appointment moved up — tell them you would like a call from them and a copy of the pathology report faxed or emailed to you (or go pick it up) as soon as it comes in. Doctors are hesistant to let a patient have these without explaining them, but under HIPAA laws those results are *yours* and you have every legal right to obtain them. You can post the pathology report here and someone will help you deciper what you don't understand.
Finally, feel good that you are getting some answers. You can't address a medical problem until you identify it.
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- January 4, 2017 at 3:18 pm
I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much. I was a bit of a medical mystery myself, so I know how frustrating it is to be ill and no one can provide you with a solid diagnosis. The first thing, of course, is to try and get a hold on your anxiety. Stress can do a number on every system in your body, so you aren't helping yourself by playing the "what if" game. (I know, easier said than done.) Try some deep breathing exercises, or use a natural product like Bach's Rescue Remedy. Channel some of that anxious energy into a cause you can be passionate about — the Presidential election campaign is good, as no matter which side you are on there is something to be upset about. It's hard to be anxious about results when you are seething about something else. 🙂
Next, see if you can get your appointment moved up — tell them you would like a call from them and a copy of the pathology report faxed or emailed to you (or go pick it up) as soon as it comes in. Doctors are hesistant to let a patient have these without explaining them, but under HIPAA laws those results are *yours* and you have every legal right to obtain them. You can post the pathology report here and someone will help you deciper what you don't understand.
Finally, feel good that you are getting some answers. You can't address a medical problem until you identify it.
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- January 4, 2017 at 4:30 pm
Ok so even though I knew it was probably too early I called the dermatologist’s office and spoke with the nurse. She said they don’t have the results back yet but hope to by the end of the day Friday (day after tomorrow). She said if I don’t hear from her by then to go ahead and call her back, that she doesn’t mind at all because she knows the wait is terrible. She also said the appointment is scheduled so far out in case of delays due to the holidays.-
- January 5, 2017 at 1:00 am
Hi BBoggs78, I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time. When I read your post, it really resonanted with me, because I feel the same way.
I had brain surgery for a benign vestibular schwanoma surgically removed in May; I no sooner had a clean MRI and I am now hit with a melanoma scare. I went to the dermatologist and she is convinced my mole is melanoma. That visit was on Friday (30 Dec) and I am now waiting for the pathology to come back. I am going absolutely crazy. I feel like I have been through so much (also had my gall bladder out and developed pancreatitis from that whole mess), then craniotomy and then I had a still birth on Dec 21st; I just don't know how much medical challenges I can keep having before I have a complete mental break down.
My prayers are for both you and me; hoping we get our results ASAP so we can start solving our problems!
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- January 5, 2017 at 10:32 am
My prayers are with you also! I wouldn’t wish these issues, these fears, on anyone. It is helpful to know I’m not alone during this time 🙂 I mean I’m never alone, my family is wonderful and I have some terrific friends, but I try so hard to not add to their stress by really discussing how I truly feal with them. From reading through discussions on here, and from responses I’ve already received (Thank You) everyone here seems very understanding. I know if my pathology does come back as melanoma this site will be very helpful. 🙂 -
- January 5, 2017 at 10:32 am
My prayers are with you also! I wouldn’t wish these issues, these fears, on anyone. It is helpful to know I’m not alone during this time 🙂 I mean I’m never alone, my family is wonderful and I have some terrific friends, but I try so hard to not add to their stress by really discussing how I truly feal with them. From reading through discussions on here, and from responses I’ve already received (Thank You) everyone here seems very understanding. I know if my pathology does come back as melanoma this site will be very helpful. 🙂 -
- January 5, 2017 at 10:32 am
My prayers are with you also! I wouldn’t wish these issues, these fears, on anyone. It is helpful to know I’m not alone during this time 🙂 I mean I’m never alone, my family is wonderful and I have some terrific friends, but I try so hard to not add to their stress by really discussing how I truly feal with them. From reading through discussions on here, and from responses I’ve already received (Thank You) everyone here seems very understanding. I know if my pathology does come back as melanoma this site will be very helpful. 🙂 -
- January 12, 2017 at 9:55 am
No – still waiting. I know the nurses' line is getting irritated with me calling so much, but they just keep telling me the same thing…results can take up to 2 weeks and if they don't find anything they notify me by mail. The problem is that the derm told me in the office it was most likely melanoma and was very concerned. If she was so concerned, I don't know why she wouldn't call me back with the results by now! I am most definitely finding another derm after all of this, the waiting is just too much. Any recommendations for a derm in Nebraska?
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- January 12, 2017 at 9:55 am
No – still waiting. I know the nurses' line is getting irritated with me calling so much, but they just keep telling me the same thing…results can take up to 2 weeks and if they don't find anything they notify me by mail. The problem is that the derm told me in the office it was most likely melanoma and was very concerned. If she was so concerned, I don't know why she wouldn't call me back with the results by now! I am most definitely finding another derm after all of this, the waiting is just too much. Any recommendations for a derm in Nebraska?
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- January 12, 2017 at 9:55 am
No – still waiting. I know the nurses' line is getting irritated with me calling so much, but they just keep telling me the same thing…results can take up to 2 weeks and if they don't find anything they notify me by mail. The problem is that the derm told me in the office it was most likely melanoma and was very concerned. If she was so concerned, I don't know why she wouldn't call me back with the results by now! I am most definitely finding another derm after all of this, the waiting is just too much. Any recommendations for a derm in Nebraska?
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- January 5, 2017 at 1:00 am
Hi BBoggs78, I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time. When I read your post, it really resonanted with me, because I feel the same way.
I had brain surgery for a benign vestibular schwanoma surgically removed in May; I no sooner had a clean MRI and I am now hit with a melanoma scare. I went to the dermatologist and she is convinced my mole is melanoma. That visit was on Friday (30 Dec) and I am now waiting for the pathology to come back. I am going absolutely crazy. I feel like I have been through so much (also had my gall bladder out and developed pancreatitis from that whole mess), then craniotomy and then I had a still birth on Dec 21st; I just don't know how much medical challenges I can keep having before I have a complete mental break down.
My prayers are for both you and me; hoping we get our results ASAP so we can start solving our problems!
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- January 5, 2017 at 1:00 am
Hi BBoggs78, I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time. When I read your post, it really resonanted with me, because I feel the same way.
I had brain surgery for a benign vestibular schwanoma surgically removed in May; I no sooner had a clean MRI and I am now hit with a melanoma scare. I went to the dermatologist and she is convinced my mole is melanoma. That visit was on Friday (30 Dec) and I am now waiting for the pathology to come back. I am going absolutely crazy. I feel like I have been through so much (also had my gall bladder out and developed pancreatitis from that whole mess), then craniotomy and then I had a still birth on Dec 21st; I just don't know how much medical challenges I can keep having before I have a complete mental break down.
My prayers are for both you and me; hoping we get our results ASAP so we can start solving our problems!
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- January 4, 2017 at 4:30 pm
Ok so even though I knew it was probably too early I called the dermatologist’s office and spoke with the nurse. She said they don’t have the results back yet but hope to by the end of the day Friday (day after tomorrow). She said if I don’t hear from her by then to go ahead and call her back, that she doesn’t mind at all because she knows the wait is terrible. She also said the appointment is scheduled so far out in case of delays due to the holidays. -
- January 4, 2017 at 4:30 pm
Ok so even though I knew it was probably too early I called the dermatologist’s office and spoke with the nurse. She said they don’t have the results back yet but hope to by the end of the day Friday (day after tomorrow). She said if I don’t hear from her by then to go ahead and call her back, that she doesn’t mind at all because she knows the wait is terrible. She also said the appointment is scheduled so far out in case of delays due to the holidays. -
- January 8, 2017 at 7:54 pm
Beth, how about you? Did you get your results?
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- January 8, 2017 at 7:54 pm
Beth, how about you? Did you get your results?
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- January 8, 2017 at 7:54 pm
Beth, how about you? Did you get your results?
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Tagged: cutaneous melanoma
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