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- This topic has 18 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 6 months ago by
stephlovins621.
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- October 12, 2016 at 10:45 pm
Back in 2013, I noticed a mole on the left upper side of my back. Being an ignorant fool, I disregarded the fact that it was growing and continuing to look suspicious up until July of 2016 when I finally had it removed. The look on the dermatologist's face said it all, and being a nurse myself I knew ultimately what I was up against. Needless to say, she removed the entire mole for good measure and confirmed that it was in fact melanoma.
I'm currently 29 years old with a 6 month old baby girl so hearing this sent me into a full blown panic. I felt such anger towards myself for feeling invisible to sickness; I should know that in my line of work, I see people of different ailments at different ages every day! Why didn't I get this taken care of earlier? 2016 blessed me with my daughter, but now is the year I'm reminded of how health isn't something to take for granted.
I met with the Melanoma Cancer Center at the University of Michigan in August and was told my mole was 0.81mm Breslow thickness, however the way the mole was presenting, they suggested performing a wide excision as well as a SLNB to rule out any lymph node involvement. Of course I was given a 5-6% chance that it spread so of couse I felt relieved!
Guess luck wasn't on my side…the wide excision showed no traces of melanoma (which was to be expected) however the SLNB showed that THREE nodes in my left axillary lit up and had 1% of melanoma. If it had been a 1% spread to one lymph node, they said they wouldn't have given much thought to it, but the fact that three nodes lit up changed the treatment plan. Again, I felt like a fool thinking "of course it'll come back negative and all I'll need to do is skin checks for the rest of my life! No big deal!"
I'm awaiting the call to schedule my CLND to see what exactly we're dealing with. I'm not going to sugar coat it–I'm terrified. Regardless of the results of the CLND, they're referring me for further treatment where they'll suggest either Interferon or "waiting it out". I'm trying my best to stay off the internet, it only makes me more fearful, but it's the planner in me that wants to be two steps ahead already prepared. It's scary to think about cancer cells potentially floating around, having absolutely no control over them. I pray that perhaps the 1% is on my side? To give me some glimmer of hope?
Regardless, my heart and prayers go out to the victims of melanoma fighting the good fight. I thank you for your time in reading my message and please know that even though we have never met, I'm thinking of you and praying for you. I'm thankful for this site to use as both a resource as well as a support system and I'm thankful for any tips or advice from you all 🙂
Stephanie
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- October 12, 2016 at 11:42 pm
Stephanie,
So sorry you are going through all of this.
I was in your shoes 6 months ago, I am Stage 3a. I also knew my strange looking mole was there for a few months. It is important you see a Melanoma specialist. Since you had 3 lymph nodes positive, you could qualify for a clinical trial rather than interferon. I was offered interferon and declined. I got a 2nd opinion. Look over this forum, there is a lot of information here.
Laura
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- October 12, 2016 at 11:42 pm
Stephanie,
So sorry you are going through all of this.
I was in your shoes 6 months ago, I am Stage 3a. I also knew my strange looking mole was there for a few months. It is important you see a Melanoma specialist. Since you had 3 lymph nodes positive, you could qualify for a clinical trial rather than interferon. I was offered interferon and declined. I got a 2nd opinion. Look over this forum, there is a lot of information here.
Laura
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- November 19, 2016 at 1:55 am
Thank you Laura 🙂 So I went ahead with the CLND, 8 nodes were taken out of my left axillary and were all negative so I'm forever thankful for that beacon of hope.
Met with the oncologist today who said the three sentinel nodes affected had such microscopic growth on the most outer layer of the node so he determines a 5% chance that it spread to my organs. He wants to do a PET scan and did mention Interferon. I'm leaning towards declining it and looking at other options. I just don't know if a year of beating up my body is worth it, especially if my PET scan comes back fine. Do you still believe you made the right decision? Have you heard of any other treatment options?
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- November 19, 2016 at 1:55 am
Thank you Laura 🙂 So I went ahead with the CLND, 8 nodes were taken out of my left axillary and were all negative so I'm forever thankful for that beacon of hope.
Met with the oncologist today who said the three sentinel nodes affected had such microscopic growth on the most outer layer of the node so he determines a 5% chance that it spread to my organs. He wants to do a PET scan and did mention Interferon. I'm leaning towards declining it and looking at other options. I just don't know if a year of beating up my body is worth it, especially if my PET scan comes back fine. Do you still believe you made the right decision? Have you heard of any other treatment options?
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- November 19, 2016 at 1:55 am
Thank you Laura 🙂 So I went ahead with the CLND, 8 nodes were taken out of my left axillary and were all negative so I'm forever thankful for that beacon of hope.
Met with the oncologist today who said the three sentinel nodes affected had such microscopic growth on the most outer layer of the node so he determines a 5% chance that it spread to my organs. He wants to do a PET scan and did mention Interferon. I'm leaning towards declining it and looking at other options. I just don't know if a year of beating up my body is worth it, especially if my PET scan comes back fine. Do you still believe you made the right decision? Have you heard of any other treatment options?
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- October 12, 2016 at 11:42 pm
Stephanie,
So sorry you are going through all of this.
I was in your shoes 6 months ago, I am Stage 3a. I also knew my strange looking mole was there for a few months. It is important you see a Melanoma specialist. Since you had 3 lymph nodes positive, you could qualify for a clinical trial rather than interferon. I was offered interferon and declined. I got a 2nd opinion. Look over this forum, there is a lot of information here.
Laura
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- October 14, 2016 at 12:58 am
Stephanie…. we've all been in those terrifying places… and many have second guessed why we waited so long to have something checked. I know there is not much that can be said that will be of much comfort at this point, but if it helps at all… it will get "easier". Once you have all of the information regarding your diagnosis, and a plan is in play, you will rest a bit. You are in the throws of the most difficult part right now, and you are absolutely correct about the internet giving you scary statistics and scenarios! While it is good to be informed and know your options moving forward, until you know what you are up against, you can spin and spin with the horrors of what might lie ahead. Know that you will make the best choices for YOU. My oncologist always reminds me that we cannot look at statistics. We are all different. Our mutations may differ. The health of our immune response differs. Our stress levels differ. There are so many factors that skew the accuracy of statistical data. You are young and have a lot to fight for. I think you'll be surprised with the amount of strength you find in yourself once the shock and panic alarms settle down. In the meantime….. e-hugs to you! Hang in there!
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- October 14, 2016 at 12:58 am
Stephanie…. we've all been in those terrifying places… and many have second guessed why we waited so long to have something checked. I know there is not much that can be said that will be of much comfort at this point, but if it helps at all… it will get "easier". Once you have all of the information regarding your diagnosis, and a plan is in play, you will rest a bit. You are in the throws of the most difficult part right now, and you are absolutely correct about the internet giving you scary statistics and scenarios! While it is good to be informed and know your options moving forward, until you know what you are up against, you can spin and spin with the horrors of what might lie ahead. Know that you will make the best choices for YOU. My oncologist always reminds me that we cannot look at statistics. We are all different. Our mutations may differ. The health of our immune response differs. Our stress levels differ. There are so many factors that skew the accuracy of statistical data. You are young and have a lot to fight for. I think you'll be surprised with the amount of strength you find in yourself once the shock and panic alarms settle down. In the meantime….. e-hugs to you! Hang in there!
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- October 14, 2016 at 12:58 am
Stephanie…. we've all been in those terrifying places… and many have second guessed why we waited so long to have something checked. I know there is not much that can be said that will be of much comfort at this point, but if it helps at all… it will get "easier". Once you have all of the information regarding your diagnosis, and a plan is in play, you will rest a bit. You are in the throws of the most difficult part right now, and you are absolutely correct about the internet giving you scary statistics and scenarios! While it is good to be informed and know your options moving forward, until you know what you are up against, you can spin and spin with the horrors of what might lie ahead. Know that you will make the best choices for YOU. My oncologist always reminds me that we cannot look at statistics. We are all different. Our mutations may differ. The health of our immune response differs. Our stress levels differ. There are so many factors that skew the accuracy of statistical data. You are young and have a lot to fight for. I think you'll be surprised with the amount of strength you find in yourself once the shock and panic alarms settle down. In the meantime….. e-hugs to you! Hang in there!
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- November 19, 2016 at 2:10 am
Thank you Niki! Do you have any experience with Interferon? I'm at the point in my treatment where it's a possible option so I'm trying to decide if it's worth it or not. The CLND showed no further spreading and the three sentinel nodes (that had microscopic growth on the outside layer of the node) have already been taken out. Ultimately, it truly is my decision if I want to do it or not and that's a huge pill to swallow!
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- November 19, 2016 at 2:10 am
Thank you Niki! Do you have any experience with Interferon? I'm at the point in my treatment where it's a possible option so I'm trying to decide if it's worth it or not. The CLND showed no further spreading and the three sentinel nodes (that had microscopic growth on the outside layer of the node) have already been taken out. Ultimately, it truly is my decision if I want to do it or not and that's a huge pill to swallow!
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- November 19, 2016 at 2:10 am
Thank you Niki! Do you have any experience with Interferon? I'm at the point in my treatment where it's a possible option so I'm trying to decide if it's worth it or not. The CLND showed no further spreading and the three sentinel nodes (that had microscopic growth on the outside layer of the node) have already been taken out. Ultimately, it truly is my decision if I want to do it or not and that's a huge pill to swallow!
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- October 14, 2016 at 1:55 am
Hi Steohanie-
I'm sorry that you're going through this, especially at such a young age. I know that you will find lots of great information and support here as I have.
I am also a nurse and we tend to think that we will always be on the care giving side instead of the patient side. Forgive yourself for failing to see someone about the spot sooner- who knows if it would've been positive then- and save your energy for loving that baby of yours and going forward.
Know a fellow Michigander is thinking of you (I'm seen at U of M too) – you will be in my prayers tonight.
Peggy
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- October 14, 2016 at 1:55 am
Hi Steohanie-
I'm sorry that you're going through this, especially at such a young age. I know that you will find lots of great information and support here as I have.
I am also a nurse and we tend to think that we will always be on the care giving side instead of the patient side. Forgive yourself for failing to see someone about the spot sooner- who knows if it would've been positive then- and save your energy for loving that baby of yours and going forward.
Know a fellow Michigander is thinking of you (I'm seen at U of M too) – you will be in my prayers tonight.
Peggy
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- October 14, 2016 at 1:55 am
Hi Steohanie-
I'm sorry that you're going through this, especially at such a young age. I know that you will find lots of great information and support here as I have.
I am also a nurse and we tend to think that we will always be on the care giving side instead of the patient side. Forgive yourself for failing to see someone about the spot sooner- who knows if it would've been positive then- and save your energy for loving that baby of yours and going forward.
Know a fellow Michigander is thinking of you (I'm seen at U of M too) – you will be in my prayers tonight.
Peggy
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- November 19, 2016 at 2:04 am
Thank you Peggy! Thank you for your kind words and you're in my thoughts. I pray you overcome this! I was seen by Dr. Sabel and I agreed to the CLND–8 nodes were taken out of my left axillary and they were all negative. Finally some glimmer of hope!
I'm now at St. John Main in Detroit (closer to my neck of the woods) seeing Dr. Jebovic for further oncology treatment. He determined a 5% chance that it spread to my organs due to how microscopic the growth was on the sentinel nodes and that it was right on the tip of the nodes affected. He wants me to go back to U of M to get a PET scan (since they can give me a scan with less radiation) and we did discuss Interferon. Reading these forums makes me lean towards declining Interferon. I just don't know if I can justify a year of hell, but then I feel as if I'll have no one else to blame but myself if I decide not to go through it and something bad happens. So now I'm starting the research of pros and cons of obtaining Interferon treatment.
Again, I'm thinking of you and praying for you. Perhaps our paths will cross one day at U of M, wish it was better circumstances though! 😉
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- November 19, 2016 at 2:04 am
Thank you Peggy! Thank you for your kind words and you're in my thoughts. I pray you overcome this! I was seen by Dr. Sabel and I agreed to the CLND–8 nodes were taken out of my left axillary and they were all negative. Finally some glimmer of hope!
I'm now at St. John Main in Detroit (closer to my neck of the woods) seeing Dr. Jebovic for further oncology treatment. He determined a 5% chance that it spread to my organs due to how microscopic the growth was on the sentinel nodes and that it was right on the tip of the nodes affected. He wants me to go back to U of M to get a PET scan (since they can give me a scan with less radiation) and we did discuss Interferon. Reading these forums makes me lean towards declining Interferon. I just don't know if I can justify a year of hell, but then I feel as if I'll have no one else to blame but myself if I decide not to go through it and something bad happens. So now I'm starting the research of pros and cons of obtaining Interferon treatment.
Again, I'm thinking of you and praying for you. Perhaps our paths will cross one day at U of M, wish it was better circumstances though! 😉
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- November 19, 2016 at 2:04 am
Thank you Peggy! Thank you for your kind words and you're in my thoughts. I pray you overcome this! I was seen by Dr. Sabel and I agreed to the CLND–8 nodes were taken out of my left axillary and they were all negative. Finally some glimmer of hope!
I'm now at St. John Main in Detroit (closer to my neck of the woods) seeing Dr. Jebovic for further oncology treatment. He determined a 5% chance that it spread to my organs due to how microscopic the growth was on the sentinel nodes and that it was right on the tip of the nodes affected. He wants me to go back to U of M to get a PET scan (since they can give me a scan with less radiation) and we did discuss Interferon. Reading these forums makes me lean towards declining Interferon. I just don't know if I can justify a year of hell, but then I feel as if I'll have no one else to blame but myself if I decide not to go through it and something bad happens. So now I'm starting the research of pros and cons of obtaining Interferon treatment.
Again, I'm thinking of you and praying for you. Perhaps our paths will cross one day at U of M, wish it was better circumstances though! 😉
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Tagged: cutaneous melanoma
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