› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Stress is a real killer…
- This topic has 39 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 7 months ago by
john partrick michael murphy.
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- November 12, 2012 at 1:53 pm
I've been on the forum several times and want to thank everybody that responded. You helped me to get through the early diagnosis stage and I am truly grateful for your compassion and advice.
I've been on the forum several times and want to thank everybody that responded. You helped me to get through the early diagnosis stage and I am truly grateful for your compassion and advice.
I was diagosed with Stage IV Melanoma on August 17th. Since then, It's been a wild ride. For several months, I've lived in a state of fear. Endless hours on the internet researching and learning, surgeries, SNB, tests, and as of this week, Mage vaccine at Moffitt. I'm currently NED and hope to stay that way. I"ve changed my lifestyle, diet, (anti-angiogenic), breathing, and attitude.
I've come to the realization that stress may be the worst contributor to the spread of melanoma. Stress hormones stop our body's production of Natural Killer (NK) cells. Many of the foods we eat everyday don't build our immune system or contribute to angiogenisis (your body building blood supplies to tumors). Steroids that help treatment side effects kill our immune systems. The very treatments that we receive such as surgery, radiation, blood tests, scans, or drugs all add to stress or supress the immune system.
When we live in a state of joy, our bodies produce NK cells. The Catch-22 is this, when we are diagnosed with Melanoma, how the hell do we not have stress? How do we get our bodies re-engaged in the battle? My new goal is the be the best patient that I can be. There is no single cure or solution to Melanoma. I will exercise, eat better, oxigenate with breathing, follow my doctor's plan, thank God for everything that has been given to me, and most importantly try to live a life of joy and happiness. With each passing day, it's getting easier to breath and smile. I appreciate hugs more than ever. I have fun with my grandson playing baseball, I take walks and look up at the cloud formations. I listen to happy music on the radio. But most of all, I am so happy to have more time on this side of the dirt. Melanoma has given me the abiity to appreciate every precious moment of life.
Take regular breaks from the stress of melanoma and think about what makes you happy. One of my favorite movies is the Shawshank Redemption. There is a very memorable line by Tim Robbins, "The solution is simple, really. Get busy living or get busy dying."
Live every moment!
Frank
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- November 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Fantastic news for you!
I like your attitude. My husband is at stage 3c and has been battling mucosal melanoma and a second primary lung cancer since April. It's a long story but after surgery in April and May, no more treatment was done until August and by then his melanoma situation was horrific. One doctor was surprised to see him alive in October. But he is responding very well to treatment with a 75% reduction in tumors after the first two treatments and continued shrinkage since then. His last treatment, done last Thursday, has been pretty rough on him but for the most part he has felt fine throughout it all and he did make it to work today in spite of not feeling well.
He has had a fantastic attitude since getting through the inital shock and is going about his life enjoying football games, a concert with our son and time with family. I've been a basket case for a lot of it but I don't show it around him. I do believe that God works miracles and I'm positive that He is working in my husband. I pray for a continued miracle.
But yes, stress can be a killer in itself. My own health has suffered because of the stress I've felt in this mess. I'm finally getting my act together and am feeling much better. I'm sure that my husband's positive attitude has been a tremendous boost for him medically as well as mentally.
Best of luck to you with continued NED!
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- November 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Fantastic news for you!
I like your attitude. My husband is at stage 3c and has been battling mucosal melanoma and a second primary lung cancer since April. It's a long story but after surgery in April and May, no more treatment was done until August and by then his melanoma situation was horrific. One doctor was surprised to see him alive in October. But he is responding very well to treatment with a 75% reduction in tumors after the first two treatments and continued shrinkage since then. His last treatment, done last Thursday, has been pretty rough on him but for the most part he has felt fine throughout it all and he did make it to work today in spite of not feeling well.
He has had a fantastic attitude since getting through the inital shock and is going about his life enjoying football games, a concert with our son and time with family. I've been a basket case for a lot of it but I don't show it around him. I do believe that God works miracles and I'm positive that He is working in my husband. I pray for a continued miracle.
But yes, stress can be a killer in itself. My own health has suffered because of the stress I've felt in this mess. I'm finally getting my act together and am feeling much better. I'm sure that my husband's positive attitude has been a tremendous boost for him medically as well as mentally.
Best of luck to you with continued NED!
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- November 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Fantastic news for you!
I like your attitude. My husband is at stage 3c and has been battling mucosal melanoma and a second primary lung cancer since April. It's a long story but after surgery in April and May, no more treatment was done until August and by then his melanoma situation was horrific. One doctor was surprised to see him alive in October. But he is responding very well to treatment with a 75% reduction in tumors after the first two treatments and continued shrinkage since then. His last treatment, done last Thursday, has been pretty rough on him but for the most part he has felt fine throughout it all and he did make it to work today in spite of not feeling well.
He has had a fantastic attitude since getting through the inital shock and is going about his life enjoying football games, a concert with our son and time with family. I've been a basket case for a lot of it but I don't show it around him. I do believe that God works miracles and I'm positive that He is working in my husband. I pray for a continued miracle.
But yes, stress can be a killer in itself. My own health has suffered because of the stress I've felt in this mess. I'm finally getting my act together and am feeling much better. I'm sure that my husband's positive attitude has been a tremendous boost for him medically as well as mentally.
Best of luck to you with continued NED!
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- November 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Thank you for that post Frank! I believe that our attitude can really affect everything, obviously we're all human and are allowed to have our bad days or moments, but overall, staying positive is key to our health, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Having melanoma has reminded me that life is short, and we are never guaranteed tomorrow (whether you have health issues or not!) and every day is a blessing that should not be taken for granted. I really feel like my (mostly) positive attitude has helped me stay healthy through surgeries, radiation, and now ipi (only 1 treatment in), and I know it helps my support system, because who wants to put up with someone who's always grumpy?! Thank you Frank, and have a wonderful week 🙂
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- November 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Thank you for that post Frank! I believe that our attitude can really affect everything, obviously we're all human and are allowed to have our bad days or moments, but overall, staying positive is key to our health, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Having melanoma has reminded me that life is short, and we are never guaranteed tomorrow (whether you have health issues or not!) and every day is a blessing that should not be taken for granted. I really feel like my (mostly) positive attitude has helped me stay healthy through surgeries, radiation, and now ipi (only 1 treatment in), and I know it helps my support system, because who wants to put up with someone who's always grumpy?! Thank you Frank, and have a wonderful week 🙂
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- November 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Thank you for that post Frank! I believe that our attitude can really affect everything, obviously we're all human and are allowed to have our bad days or moments, but overall, staying positive is key to our health, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Having melanoma has reminded me that life is short, and we are never guaranteed tomorrow (whether you have health issues or not!) and every day is a blessing that should not be taken for granted. I really feel like my (mostly) positive attitude has helped me stay healthy through surgeries, radiation, and now ipi (only 1 treatment in), and I know it helps my support system, because who wants to put up with someone who's always grumpy?! Thank you Frank, and have a wonderful week 🙂
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- November 12, 2012 at 6:15 pm
"The Catch-22 is this, when we are diagnosed with Melanoma, how the hell do we not have stress? "
EXACTLY!
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- November 12, 2012 at 9:20 pm
I think all these posts spell it out….whether you're the patient or the caregiver, you have to recognize stress and how to manage it …..or it will manage you! If you are being managed by your stress, it won't treat you nice or do anything to help you stay at the top of your game. That's why when patients talk about what they did to win their battle with this disease, at the top of so many success stories is, prayer and meditation, breathing and mental focus on getting well and envisioning that for themself. Stay strong, tell yourself you will conquer this and begin each day with that process in mind and above else, enjoy every moment of everyday. I personally find myself living life to the max that I don't have time for the other….. I'm to busy living! Stay away from things that keep sucking you down into the dark deep, sometimes you have to stay away from the internet or even MPIP, if you are getting to much negative thought…..find happier places!
I think Elizabeth Edwards said it best:
"A positive attitude is not going to save you. What it's going to do is , everyday between NOW and the day you die, whether that's a short time from now or a long time from now, that every day….. you're going to actually live!"
In many ways, we are the lucky ones, we have a heads up about our lifeline and get the opportunity to make sure we said all the things to our loved ones that we would want them to hear. When your life ends suddenly, without warning, there are so many regrets for the words never spoken or the hug never given and to late to let the person know…..it's a blessing and a curse and you must find your way to live with it!
I can think of so many positive quotes from so many and here is another of my favorites:
"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but how we react to what happens, not by what life brings us… but the attituude we bring to life! " ……Wayne Boggs
Stay strong my friend, keep a winning attitude and make plans to beat this…..there's no harm in NOT giving up!
Swanee
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- November 12, 2012 at 9:20 pm
I think all these posts spell it out….whether you're the patient or the caregiver, you have to recognize stress and how to manage it …..or it will manage you! If you are being managed by your stress, it won't treat you nice or do anything to help you stay at the top of your game. That's why when patients talk about what they did to win their battle with this disease, at the top of so many success stories is, prayer and meditation, breathing and mental focus on getting well and envisioning that for themself. Stay strong, tell yourself you will conquer this and begin each day with that process in mind and above else, enjoy every moment of everyday. I personally find myself living life to the max that I don't have time for the other….. I'm to busy living! Stay away from things that keep sucking you down into the dark deep, sometimes you have to stay away from the internet or even MPIP, if you are getting to much negative thought…..find happier places!
I think Elizabeth Edwards said it best:
"A positive attitude is not going to save you. What it's going to do is , everyday between NOW and the day you die, whether that's a short time from now or a long time from now, that every day….. you're going to actually live!"
In many ways, we are the lucky ones, we have a heads up about our lifeline and get the opportunity to make sure we said all the things to our loved ones that we would want them to hear. When your life ends suddenly, without warning, there are so many regrets for the words never spoken or the hug never given and to late to let the person know…..it's a blessing and a curse and you must find your way to live with it!
I can think of so many positive quotes from so many and here is another of my favorites:
"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but how we react to what happens, not by what life brings us… but the attituude we bring to life! " ……Wayne Boggs
Stay strong my friend, keep a winning attitude and make plans to beat this…..there's no harm in NOT giving up!
Swanee
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- November 12, 2012 at 9:20 pm
I think all these posts spell it out….whether you're the patient or the caregiver, you have to recognize stress and how to manage it …..or it will manage you! If you are being managed by your stress, it won't treat you nice or do anything to help you stay at the top of your game. That's why when patients talk about what they did to win their battle with this disease, at the top of so many success stories is, prayer and meditation, breathing and mental focus on getting well and envisioning that for themself. Stay strong, tell yourself you will conquer this and begin each day with that process in mind and above else, enjoy every moment of everyday. I personally find myself living life to the max that I don't have time for the other….. I'm to busy living! Stay away from things that keep sucking you down into the dark deep, sometimes you have to stay away from the internet or even MPIP, if you are getting to much negative thought…..find happier places!
I think Elizabeth Edwards said it best:
"A positive attitude is not going to save you. What it's going to do is , everyday between NOW and the day you die, whether that's a short time from now or a long time from now, that every day….. you're going to actually live!"
In many ways, we are the lucky ones, we have a heads up about our lifeline and get the opportunity to make sure we said all the things to our loved ones that we would want them to hear. When your life ends suddenly, without warning, there are so many regrets for the words never spoken or the hug never given and to late to let the person know…..it's a blessing and a curse and you must find your way to live with it!
I can think of so many positive quotes from so many and here is another of my favorites:
"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but how we react to what happens, not by what life brings us… but the attituude we bring to life! " ……Wayne Boggs
Stay strong my friend, keep a winning attitude and make plans to beat this…..there's no harm in NOT giving up!
Swanee
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- November 12, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Congratulations Frank, my wish for you is to be NED for the rest of your days! I would love to hear more about your MAGE vaccines as that was my first line of treatment and was booted from treatment prematurely (my oncologist and I felt) and wish I would have been given the opportunity to continue as I think it was working for me. Let me know if you would be interested in discussing further and will give email. Again, love your story and love your grattitude!
Take care…….Swanee
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- November 12, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Congratulations Frank, my wish for you is to be NED for the rest of your days! I would love to hear more about your MAGE vaccines as that was my first line of treatment and was booted from treatment prematurely (my oncologist and I felt) and wish I would have been given the opportunity to continue as I think it was working for me. Let me know if you would be interested in discussing further and will give email. Again, love your story and love your grattitude!
Take care…….Swanee
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- November 12, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Congratulations Frank, my wish for you is to be NED for the rest of your days! I would love to hear more about your MAGE vaccines as that was my first line of treatment and was booted from treatment prematurely (my oncologist and I felt) and wish I would have been given the opportunity to continue as I think it was working for me. Let me know if you would be interested in discussing further and will give email. Again, love your story and love your grattitude!
Take care…….Swanee
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- November 13, 2012 at 6:50 am
Tim Robbins was a Freethhinker (dogma and holy books should be examined critically, like any other concept), who also said, “Beware of the killer B’s: Belong, Behave, and Believe.” I like that quote the best.It is a lonesome valley we have to walk, Frank, but each of us are doing it, just a different one, some just over the next ridge from yours, and some farther away. Thanks for sharing yours.
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- November 13, 2012 at 6:50 am
Tim Robbins was a Freethhinker (dogma and holy books should be examined critically, like any other concept), who also said, “Beware of the killer B’s: Belong, Behave, and Believe.” I like that quote the best.It is a lonesome valley we have to walk, Frank, but each of us are doing it, just a different one, some just over the next ridge from yours, and some farther away. Thanks for sharing yours.
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- November 13, 2012 at 6:50 am
Tim Robbins was a Freethhinker (dogma and holy books should be examined critically, like any other concept), who also said, “Beware of the killer B’s: Belong, Behave, and Believe.” I like that quote the best.It is a lonesome valley we have to walk, Frank, but each of us are doing it, just a different one, some just over the next ridge from yours, and some farther away. Thanks for sharing yours.
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- November 13, 2012 at 7:01 am
I meant to write Tim Robbins is a Freethinker…etc. Getting late and time to sleep.-
- November 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Thanks for the reply John. I like the way you think! It seems like the hills and valleys change under my feet dynamically, it's difficult to find stability for any length of time. Melanoma just keeps changing and adapting. All I can do is smile and be happy that I still have a journey of some kind! An adventure to say the least.
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- November 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Thanks for the reply John. I like the way you think! It seems like the hills and valleys change under my feet dynamically, it's difficult to find stability for any length of time. Melanoma just keeps changing and adapting. All I can do is smile and be happy that I still have a journey of some kind! An adventure to say the least.
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- November 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Thanks for the reply John. I like the way you think! It seems like the hills and valleys change under my feet dynamically, it's difficult to find stability for any length of time. Melanoma just keeps changing and adapting. All I can do is smile and be happy that I still have a journey of some kind! An adventure to say the least.
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- November 13, 2012 at 7:01 am
I meant to write Tim Robbins is a Freethinker…etc. Getting late and time to sleep. -
- November 13, 2012 at 7:01 am
I meant to write Tim Robbins is a Freethinker…etc. Getting late and time to sleep. -
- November 13, 2012 at 11:06 am
Hello,
I read and reread every word written in this post tonight. In the morning my husband Brent starts yet another trial at Moffitt. My heart was low and my mind was going to the dark side. He is a real fighter and has been in a lot of pain lately due to bone mets. He is stage IV and is going to start Mercks anti pd 1 trial. He has a great attitude and prays and thanks God for everyday. The words written in this post by all of you were a real life changer and for me (the caregiver), sometimes we need to understand the emotions of the ones we care the most about.
Blessing to each of you.
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- November 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Dear Sharmon: It was late last night when I wrote to Frank, and mistook Tim Robbins (that he wrote of) with Tom Robbins (whom I wrote of with the Killer B’s quote. That was from his book “Another Roadside Attraction.” It was about Jesus coming back in our time, speaking in parables, and what would happen to him.Freethinkers get stage IV Mel also, and unlike many of our cohorts, we think, if we lose this battle, annihilation waits for us, not salvation. That is a bit of a stresser for us, but at least we don’t fear eternal pain, which would be really tough. We each have our lonesome valleys to trudge, but it sure helps to know, just over the ridge is another valley with an unmet friend walking proud, in spite of their limping, sweating, shaking, wondering, same as myself.
I hope Brent’s cancer is uncloaked by the anti PD 1 meds, and his auto-immune goes after the beast and bites it good and hard like a junkyard dog. I have not achieved NED status, and don’t need to. I don’t hope for a cure, just a continuation of this wonderful BRAF/MEK inhibiting treatment, that keeps my cancer from killing me.
Thank you for helping him and all of us by telling us about him and yourself. I believe if we keep our courage, we will have hope, and if we have hope we will have the strength to fight this awesome battle. -
- November 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Dear Sharmon: It was late last night when I wrote to Frank, and mistook Tim Robbins (that he wrote of) with Tom Robbins (whom I wrote of with the Killer B’s quote. That was from his book “Another Roadside Attraction.” It was about Jesus coming back in our time, speaking in parables, and what would happen to him.Freethinkers get stage IV Mel also, and unlike many of our cohorts, we think, if we lose this battle, annihilation waits for us, not salvation. That is a bit of a stresser for us, but at least we don’t fear eternal pain, which would be really tough. We each have our lonesome valleys to trudge, but it sure helps to know, just over the ridge is another valley with an unmet friend walking proud, in spite of their limping, sweating, shaking, wondering, same as myself.
I hope Brent’s cancer is uncloaked by the anti PD 1 meds, and his auto-immune goes after the beast and bites it good and hard like a junkyard dog. I have not achieved NED status, and don’t need to. I don’t hope for a cure, just a continuation of this wonderful BRAF/MEK inhibiting treatment, that keeps my cancer from killing me.
Thank you for helping him and all of us by telling us about him and yourself. I believe if we keep our courage, we will have hope, and if we have hope we will have the strength to fight this awesome battle. -
- November 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Dear Sharmon: It was late last night when I wrote to Frank, and mistook Tim Robbins (that he wrote of) with Tom Robbins (whom I wrote of with the Killer B’s quote. That was from his book “Another Roadside Attraction.” It was about Jesus coming back in our time, speaking in parables, and what would happen to him.Freethinkers get stage IV Mel also, and unlike many of our cohorts, we think, if we lose this battle, annihilation waits for us, not salvation. That is a bit of a stresser for us, but at least we don’t fear eternal pain, which would be really tough. We each have our lonesome valleys to trudge, but it sure helps to know, just over the ridge is another valley with an unmet friend walking proud, in spite of their limping, sweating, shaking, wondering, same as myself.
I hope Brent’s cancer is uncloaked by the anti PD 1 meds, and his auto-immune goes after the beast and bites it good and hard like a junkyard dog. I have not achieved NED status, and don’t need to. I don’t hope for a cure, just a continuation of this wonderful BRAF/MEK inhibiting treatment, that keeps my cancer from killing me.
Thank you for helping him and all of us by telling us about him and yourself. I believe if we keep our courage, we will have hope, and if we have hope we will have the strength to fight this awesome battle. -
- November 13, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Thanks Frank, I think it is an honor to be the recipient of another’s best intentions. You made me feel guilty being such a good patient. Once I started to recover, and could eat again, I have overdone it. My doctor said this may be the first time an oncologist has told a fourth stager, that it may be a good idea to lose some weight! -
- November 13, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Thanks Frank, I think it is an honor to be the recipient of another’s best intentions. You made me feel guilty being such a good patient. Once I started to recover, and could eat again, I have overdone it. My doctor said this may be the first time an oncologist has told a fourth stager, that it may be a good idea to lose some weight! -
- November 13, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Thanks Frank, I think it is an honor to be the recipient of another’s best intentions. You made me feel guilty being such a good patient. Once I started to recover, and could eat again, I have overdone it. My doctor said this may be the first time an oncologist has told a fourth stager, that it may be a good idea to lose some weight!
-
- November 13, 2012 at 11:06 am
Hello,
I read and reread every word written in this post tonight. In the morning my husband Brent starts yet another trial at Moffitt. My heart was low and my mind was going to the dark side. He is a real fighter and has been in a lot of pain lately due to bone mets. He is stage IV and is going to start Mercks anti pd 1 trial. He has a great attitude and prays and thanks God for everyday. The words written in this post by all of you were a real life changer and for me (the caregiver), sometimes we need to understand the emotions of the ones we care the most about.
Blessing to each of you.
-
- November 13, 2012 at 11:06 am
Hello,
I read and reread every word written in this post tonight. In the morning my husband Brent starts yet another trial at Moffitt. My heart was low and my mind was going to the dark side. He is a real fighter and has been in a lot of pain lately due to bone mets. He is stage IV and is going to start Mercks anti pd 1 trial. He has a great attitude and prays and thanks God for everyday. The words written in this post by all of you were a real life changer and for me (the caregiver), sometimes we need to understand the emotions of the ones we care the most about.
Blessing to each of you.
-
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