Terrified. Lost my mother to melanoma and now have suspicious moles

This topic has 9 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 2 months ago by 7amberk.

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- March 27, 2017 at 11:24 pm
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7amberk
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First post here. Decided to create an account after reading thru many threads on here. My mother was diagnosed with melanoma when I was very young. She passed away when I was 15 from the melanoma metasticizing to her lymph nodes and brain and lungs. I have had moles removed before and experienced anxiety but not like this. I am a new mom. My son is one year old. I am terrified. He needs his mommy around. I have a mole on my stomach and right breast that are worrisome. I have horrible health anxiety regarding cancer. I had the mole on my breast examined about 2 years ago and was told it was fine. That mole along with the one on my stomach have grown. I hadn't been concerned about them until now. Can moles stretch out during pregnancy ? And stay stretched out? I have convinced myself that there is no way they can be benign. The mole on my breast has a fried egg appearance. It is flat and the center is not raised. The center is darker brown and all around it is lighter brown. The mole on my stomach is brown but has grown in diameter. The center is a darker shade of brown. Does the stretching make them appear this way ? It also terrifies me that pregnancy is known to make melanoma go crazy. I have freckles and moles all over my body and I am certain I will get melanoma. It's not a matter of if but when in my mind. I am worried sick and cannot eat and am dreading my appointment and the wait for the biopsy results to come back.

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- - March 27, 2017 at 11:51 pm
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  messedmelanocytes
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  Pregnancy can sure alter our skin and affect moles on the stomach and breasts but only a dermatogist can put your fears to rest. I csn understand you anxiety becuase I lost my Dad to MM and have your same fears. But I am also a Mom, and I know how important that role is. You son needs a Mom who is fully present and focused on him, dont let the worry about possible MM take that away from him. You can't control the future, you can't control what may or may not happen as far as MM goes, but you can control how much time and attention you will allow it to take away the time that is yours right now to enjoy. If you have had a dermatologist look at the moles you are concerned about and had them biopsied, if you are sun safe and diligent in monitoring your skin, you are doing what is best, worry steals joy from us and it steals tiem from us and it won't change a thing. My advice is to enjoy what is rather than dread an unknown, it might take a real effort to do that, to consciously deny worry the opporunity to take control, but it is worth trying really hard to overcome that.
  - March 28, 2017 at 12:22 am
    
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    7amberk
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    I want so badly to not worry so much. I haven't had a thorough skin check in a year or 2 and that is adding to my fears. I am prepared to move on from these moles and biopsies and be more proactive. I don't know I feel like I am automatically going to have melanoma. Just because my mother did does that mean I will ?
  - March 28, 2017 at 1:32 am
    
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    jennunicorn
    Participant
    
    No, just because your mom did does not mean you will. All you can do is biopsy any moles that worry you and LIVE life.
  - March 28, 2017 at 2:48 am
    
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    7amberk
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    Thank you 🙂 and I don't worry until I notice a suspicious mole . The waiting to see my derm and waiting for biopsies is where my problems arise. I know everybody has anxieties waiting on appointments and results but I have worry that is just ridiculous. I wish I wasn't that way.
- - March 28, 2017 at 3:00 am
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  Janner
  Participant
  "Fried egg moles" are actually a real thing. They can even fill in and end up looking more normal. Not generally a concern but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have it checked. Been there, done that, and still on my person. You are getting things checked and you have to let the rest go.
  - March 28, 2017 at 3:45 am
    
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    7amberk
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    And they looked smaller and more normal before I was pregnant. Darn moles ! They have changed in color and size. I am hoping they are benign and changed due to pregnancy etc
  - March 29, 2017 at 2:55 pm
    
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    7amberk
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    We're your fried egg moles multi colored ? I think mine was darker brown with a lighter brown edge but she told me they were two colors so possibly black and brown ?
- - March 29, 2017 at 10:45 am
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  UBContributor
  Participant
  Surely u need to have them checked, but pls remember during pregnancy the hormonal changes make skin darker, moles and frecles darken too.
  - March 29, 2017 at 2:54 pm
    
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    7amberk
    Participant
    
    Thank you for your response I appreciate it. It is so nice to talk with people that are familiar with melanoma and its anxieties etc. I did have them examined and one was taken off to be biopsied. She also said pregnancy makes moles change and that my new moles were healthy. The one she chose to remove was on my right breast. It has the fried egg look to it. She said she didn't suspect it would come back as anything but because of my family history she would rather be proactive about it. The only charecterisitic she didn't like about the mole was that it is two colors. Darker in the middle. So I am anxiously waiting for my results and trying to not be nervous and focus on the positive things she said.