Waiting fot biopsy results, again

I hope this is not more "heavy duty" than you are looking for, but I found this recent article to touch home on the notion that many people "double back" to the "existential slap" of that original diagnosis.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/11/the-existential-slap/544790/

Plugging Melanoma Today ™ into this particular cancer  discussion, we have a aggressive cancer but also live in a miraculous time, which I think may exacerbate the tendency, so I try not to beat myself up over that "doubling back". 

Also, personally, I actively challenge myself to remember that scans are my freind. I don't have citations, but recall some data that indicated that longitudinally, if you are looking to "really be off the damn rollercoaster" it's about 40 months to where (for me a stage 3b) I can feel better about mortality odds getting tolerably low.  I don't think about getting off the ride so much as riding it well now. Spending time with all the data also teaches you how it loses meaning if you try too hard to translate it to an individual case. 

You have lots of people here that instantly care for your well being just for being here.

So you got that going for you.

So just remember, it's actually a small proportion of the melanoma warriors that ever have another primary – like 10%.  So 90% chance it isn't melanoma!

This is likely the worst part of melanoma, the worry after each skin check, especially after biopsies. I've had more than one primary – they all looked totally different from each other. Something 'looking a lot like' my first melanoma would not have been a good indicator for subsquent melanomas. They looked nothing alike. At the same time, as well as the subsequent melanomas, I had about 10 other biopsies over the years, all clear. So long story short: in my experience, It's like that your biopsy will be clear. If not, it's likely to be a thin melanoma found early, hopefully even in situ/stage 0. As will any future primary – these regular skin checks and biopsies that we subject ourselves too make sure of that. It's odd that this is your first body scan – do you mean your first full body skin check? That's something you'll have to get very used to, it's going to be a regular thing for you (yearly, at least).

Hi,

This is a roller coaster ride and not the good kind.  I remember feeling like I had gotten on an express train and couldn't get off.  Once my diagnosis came down I was constantly reeling.  I remember sitting in the waiting room of the oncologist's office and thinking that I didn't belong there. I wanted to hope up and run out the door.  I had never quite felt that way before.  Waiting for scan or biopsy results is one of the hardest things.  Trying to digest the news and then make decisions quickly without focusing on the emotional response is challenging.  You can do this.  Try not to give in to the worry.  I'm currently distracting myself with work, taking care of my 84 year old mother.  I'm sure there are much better ways to handle the mental burden of all of this.  I hear meditation and yoga are great.

Good wishes to you.

Jennifer