justscared

I should also mention I guess that there wasn’t anything there before. No small marks or moles. 

Forgot to include this one. http://tinypic.com/r/2dabmtt/9

Derm said the same thing. Also said the other spot I was worried about looked fine. 

She found one on the back of my upper thigh though that I’ve never noticed before. It’s small, not even a mm, but it’s uneven.  No crusting/bleeding/itching. She looked at it, moved on, then came back to it. Then said she felt like we should take a sample of it to biopsy. And was talking to herself as she wrote in my form, “macular dotting with fusion” was all I heard. Umm…what??

She said there was just enough there that she wanted to sample it to test, and that “It may not come back atypical”. There was just something about the way she said it that my heart dropped. She then went on to say it could just be benign but she wanted to check. I asked point blank if she was thinking melanoma, and she just smiled and shook her head. And went on to make a bigger deal out of the hirsuitism I’ve been fighting. 

So here I am, another day where I can even think straight out of fear. How do you guys even cope?

Thank you both. I’d never heard of that before.  Checked it out and it all seems to match up, even saw a pic that looks much like mine. I even did the little pinch test, and it does dimple when squeezing around it. 

I have another mole that looks identical to the atypical one we removed, but smaller, so I imagine we’ll take that out but hopefully nothing else seems strange to my doc. I’ve learned so much about these things just reading through the posts here. This site is such a huge help. 

Thank you again for talking to me on this. I don’t have a copy of the report but got a message from my doctor today that said,  “It is NOT cancer, but it was atypical. We did get all of it out.” And just that we’d talk more when I have my stitches out Tuesday. So I don’t know what level of atypical yet. But she was right and I refuse to let myself read too much into the bit about getting it all out, other than to feel relieved. 

I’ll do that for sure. I don’t want to go through this again, where I’m sitting here stressing out wondering if I’ve always had that mole or if it’s new. 

Does that mean that if this mole is actually new, that it’s a greater chance it’s malignant?

Would edit if I could but can’t figure out how. Everything went fine this morning. The doctor said it’s most likely a mild atypical mole that isn’t cancer yet. She told me at the end as we were leaving that she sees them all the time and though we won’t know til we get the report, she really thinks it will be fine. 

So now I wait and pray and try to distract myself. I wish I could sleep through the rest of this week and skip the waiting. 

Going in this morning to have the place removed for biopsy. The doctor I saw yesterday looked at it and immediately said “Okay, it’s a mole. Tell me about the history.” I couldn’t tell her much, since I haven’t exactly studied it before this week. 

She said it may just be red because it’s irritated ( it sits right where my bra band hits constantly ). She also said that it doesn’t look like it’s melanoma at this point. But that it needs to come off to be sure it isn’t changing. She said a couple times that she doesn’t think it’s cancer, and just…honestly didn’t seem worried in the least. 

Thank you. I called around to a few local places and was lucky enough to find one with a cancellation for today, since it snowed so heavily. I appreciate your reply. I actually read it last night and it helped me calm down in another of those panicky moments. 

Hoping for the best out of today, to be told that it’s nothing and to stay off the internet. I tell myself that it helps, but you’re right, it doesn’t. It just sets me off over and over. 

Thank you. I’m trying. I feel like all I’ve done is go in and out of doctors offices since August. Different issue, but I’ve had 2 abdominal CT scans, two chest x-rays ( most recent in January ), and three full CBC blood tests ( last also in Jan ), all of which were completely normal. Plus my first mammogram, a brain MRI, and a sinus CT scan.

I thought I was finally at a point where I could start recovering mentally. Now I’ve noticed this spot and I feel like I’ve been set back 6 months all over again. 

I know I sound nuts but I’m so scared that I pulled through all of that just to be smacked in the face with the worst possible thing, all from a spot.