Mango

I was diagnosed with stage iv in August of 2001. During surgery, they woke me up to tell me they wanted to remove my arm. I would not let them. The usual nightmare ensued (fear, anger, denial, etc.). I had bouts of extreme paranoia with any new spot on my body for the first few years after diagnosis. I have biopsy scars everywhere! I finally got sick of all the diatribe my onc was throwing at me and I ceased going. I did find another onc about 5 years after initial diagnosis; I went to her once. She was quite compentent, I simply did not want to know anymore. I had already survived much longer than anyone thought I would. The mental anguish with this, or any other fatal disease, is just too much. I would rather live my life LIVING! Yes, I do have occassional bouts of paranoia when I think I have a new spot. I take pictures, document, etc. None of them have turned out to be anything. I wish I could forget this ever happened. I feel like I live in the twilight zone sometimes. Sadly, the few people I met during this part of my life who were going through the same thing have all succomned to the disease. I rarely tell new people in my life about this anymore. It just seems like it was a different lifetime, it happened to a different person. The reason I came here today was because a friend just got diagnosed and she is having a really hard time with her diagnosis. My heart goes out to all who have been affected by this and all other cancers. I wish you all love.

I was diagnosed with stage iv in August of 2001. During surgery, they woke me up to tell me they wanted to remove my arm. I would not let them. The usual nightmare ensued (fear, anger, denial, etc.). I had bouts of extreme paranoia with any new spot on my body for the first few years after diagnosis. I have biopsy scars everywhere! I finally got sick of all the diatribe my onc was throwing at me and I ceased going. I did find another onc about 5 years after initial diagnosis; I went to her once. She was quite compentent, I simply did not want to know anymore. I had already survived much longer than anyone thought I would. The mental anguish with this, or any other fatal disease, is just too much. I would rather live my life LIVING! Yes, I do have occassional bouts of paranoia when I think I have a new spot. I take pictures, document, etc. None of them have turned out to be anything. I wish I could forget this ever happened. I feel like I live in the twilight zone sometimes. Sadly, the few people I met during this part of my life who were going through the same thing have all succomned to the disease. I rarely tell new people in my life about this anymore. It just seems like it was a different lifetime, it happened to a different person. The reason I came here today was because a friend just got diagnosed and she is having a really hard time with her diagnosis. My heart goes out to all who have been affected by this and all other cancers. I wish you all love.

I was diagnosed with stage iv in August of 2001. During surgery, they woke me up to tell me they wanted to remove my arm. I would not let them. The usual nightmare ensued (fear, anger, denial, etc.). I had bouts of extreme paranoia with any new spot on my body for the first few years after diagnosis. I have biopsy scars everywhere! I finally got sick of all the diatribe my onc was throwing at me and I ceased going. I did find another onc about 5 years after initial diagnosis; I went to her once. She was quite compentent, I simply did not want to know anymore. I had already survived much longer than anyone thought I would. The mental anguish with this, or any other fatal disease, is just too much. I would rather live my life LIVING! Yes, I do have occassional bouts of paranoia when I think I have a new spot. I take pictures, document, etc. None of them have turned out to be anything. I wish I could forget this ever happened. I feel like I live in the twilight zone sometimes. Sadly, the few people I met during this part of my life who were going through the same thing have all succomned to the disease. I rarely tell new people in my life about this anymore. It just seems like it was a different lifetime, it happened to a different person. The reason I came here today was because a friend just got diagnosed and she is having a really hard time with her diagnosis. My heart goes out to all who have been affected by this and all other cancers. I wish you all love.

Hi Rick ~

I was diagnosed with stage iv in 8/2001. I had surgery on my arm and thigh as well as removal of dozens and dozens of lymph nodes in various places (they wanted to remove my arm, but I would not let them), as well as the partial removal of my liver where there was evidence of disease. I did 158 treatments of high dose interferon (5x/ week for 4 weeks, then 3x/week for 46 weeks; I quit before completeing the last 2 weeks which would have been a full 52 weeks). I was down to 72 pounds. The treatment was brutal. The drugs to counteract the side effects from the INF were dastardly!!!  I immediately felt better after stopping the interferon. I went back to eating my normal, healthy diet (I have always eaten pretty healthy). The results were immediate, at least physically. The mental toll this drug took on me took years to go away, though I still have severe bouts with "chemo fog", which sucks, but I now find humor in it.

My life is now somewhat normal (though that term is relative where I am concerned ~ HA!). I always have and always will swear my mental attitude was a key factor in my survival through this. I believe in a higher power, I meditate, I believe in eastern medicine v. western medicine, but mostly I don't take anything at all, an occasional aspirin here or there. 

I wish every single soul on this site the absolute best in their journey with this disease. It aint pretty. 

Kindest Regards, Mango

Hi Rick ~

I was diagnosed with stage iv in 8/2001. I had surgery on my arm and thigh as well as removal of dozens and dozens of lymph nodes in various places (they wanted to remove my arm, but I would not let them), as well as the partial removal of my liver where there was evidence of disease. I did 158 treatments of high dose interferon (5x/ week for 4 weeks, then 3x/week for 46 weeks; I quit before completeing the last 2 weeks which would have been a full 52 weeks). I was down to 72 pounds. The treatment was brutal. The drugs to counteract the side effects from the INF were dastardly!!!  I immediately felt better after stopping the interferon. I went back to eating my normal, healthy diet (I have always eaten pretty healthy). The results were immediate, at least physically. The mental toll this drug took on me took years to go away, though I still have severe bouts with "chemo fog", which sucks, but I now find humor in it.

My life is now somewhat normal (though that term is relative where I am concerned ~ HA!). I always have and always will swear my mental attitude was a key factor in my survival through this. I believe in a higher power, I meditate, I believe in eastern medicine v. western medicine, but mostly I don't take anything at all, an occasional aspirin here or there. 

I wish every single soul on this site the absolute best in their journey with this disease. It aint pretty. 

Kindest Regards, Mango

Hi Rick ~

I was diagnosed with stage iv in 8/2001. I had surgery on my arm and thigh as well as removal of dozens and dozens of lymph nodes in various places (they wanted to remove my arm, but I would not let them), as well as the partial removal of my liver where there was evidence of disease. I did 158 treatments of high dose interferon (5x/ week for 4 weeks, then 3x/week for 46 weeks; I quit before completeing the last 2 weeks which would have been a full 52 weeks). I was down to 72 pounds. The treatment was brutal. The drugs to counteract the side effects from the INF were dastardly!!!  I immediately felt better after stopping the interferon. I went back to eating my normal, healthy diet (I have always eaten pretty healthy). The results were immediate, at least physically. The mental toll this drug took on me took years to go away, though I still have severe bouts with "chemo fog", which sucks, but I now find humor in it.

My life is now somewhat normal (though that term is relative where I am concerned ~ HA!). I always have and always will swear my mental attitude was a key factor in my survival through this. I believe in a higher power, I meditate, I believe in eastern medicine v. western medicine, but mostly I don't take anything at all, an occasional aspirin here or there. 

I wish every single soul on this site the absolute best in their journey with this disease. It aint pretty. 

Kindest Regards, Mango